How to Meet a Beautiful Woman

The burning question on the mind of nearly every single male is, “What is the appropriate manner in which to approach and conversationally engage an attractive, eligible woman?” Is there […]


The burning question on the mind of nearly every single male is, “What is the appropriate manner in which to approach and conversationally engage an attractive, eligible woman?” Is there a proven method to break the ice without appearing either seedy or intrusive? Most of us, at some time or another, struggle with the thought. Here are some tips from our friend Alex Wise – a relationship coach and co-founder of Loveawake dating site:

FUN IS FIRST

Bear in mind that whether you’re in a bookstore, bank, or bar, no one will want to meet you if you seem like you’re stressed or pressed. Alex says, ”when you politely introduce yourself to a lady, she’s just someone you’re speaking to because she happens to be there”. An opener such as, “Hi, my name is —-” is fine. You may follow with a humorous observation about the book section she’s in, the long theatre line, or the traffic coming in. The fact that you’re merely being nice, and have a sense of wit, goes a long way. It’s your love of life in general that’s attractive — you’re not “hitting on her”.

SMALL TALK

It’s best to limit initial conversation to larger themes about life, favorite vacations, eye-opening experiences, rather than school, work, and past girlfriends. In this way, you’ll provide a peek into your soul- professions are about talent and taste, but leisure time activities and volunteer work tell a person what makes you really tick. Moreover, many women tire of discussing work when they’re free of the office, and find men that do so boring and self-absorbed. Discuss a recent favorite flick or book.

LOCATION, LOCATION

Where one encounters a pretty woman is as important as when. If the space is noisy or crowded, move the conversation to a quiter corner, or ask her if she’d like to get some fresh air on the balcony or in the parking lot. If the scene isn’t a nightclub, ask her to go for a walk. Pleasant nights can be romantic, and a short walk offers an opportunity to vibe free of observing or judgemental eyes. If you happen to be in a club, and things are going well, suggest bouncing to a smaller spot where you guys can hear one anothre better (make sure it’s nearby). Even the walk outside to the cars is a brief, private chance to chat.

THE TOUCH TEST

One can gauge where one stands with a new acquaintance by observing her body language, whether she laughs at your quips and sarcasm, and the distance which she chooses to sit or stand from you. During a conversation that is at once light (not too much workplace, politics, or dating woes) and thoughtful, wait for her to make a funny point. When she does, punctuate your laughter by letting your hand graze the top of hers, or her forearm, in brief acknowledgement of the humor. You may also tap her shoulder to close a teasing statement of your own. This of course bridges the tactile barrier, and thus contributes to bonding. Also be attuned to whether she playfully taps you or nudges you when she says something witty. Assess the appropriateness, the distance, and the individual, and keep it light- there are no musts here- it’s just a good idea if it feels right.

IT’S NOT ALL ABOUT HER

Guys, the hidden secret to meeting beautiful women is establishing social capital. The importance of this element cannot be overestimated. We are more attracted to those whom others approve. If you meet a woman who is out with girlfriends, say cute and thoughtful things to everyone there, don’t focus on the young lady you are the most attracted to. Banter about music, human nature, art, and ask all their opinions and feelings. Be mannered, pull their seats out for them, open doors, etc. Treat everyonethat they can see you interact with as if you were a visiting prince — cabbies, bartenders, the deejay. This should be genuine- something you do all the time, not a showy exhibition. Women take note of the stock others hold in you, and also their girlfriends’ opinion that you seemed “. . .like a nice guy. . . .” Be liberal with the charm- it’s not about winning her over, it’s about the way she sees you treat everyone.

ALWAYS BE CLOSING

Keep this initial encounter as brief as you can. Leave an element of mystery and anticipation. While she’s laughing, responding, and opening up, tell her you’ve got to run, and exchange contact info. Offer to pick this conversation up another time. You’ve probably heard old school entertainers say “Always leave ’em wanting more”. Wherever you are, you didn’t come there to meet women, you were just being friendly, and in mid-discussion, noticed that she’s a cool person. Get the digits and jet.

WHAT’S HER SIGN?

One of the most oft-asked questions I hear is how do I know whether to approach a woman or not, and when I do- how can I tell if she digs me? What are the signs? Again, if she scoots close to you, tilts her heard back in laughter at what you say, or gently taps you, there’s some attraction on her part. Another “tell” is how many questions she asks about you. Curiosity = interest. One may also assume one is faring well when the woman in question offers to introduce you to her friend or friends there. Steady eye contact is also a good sign

Remember guys, if you exhibit a genuine love for life, a positive attitude, can hold forth on a variety of intriguing topics (beyond sports and career), and treat others royally, beautiful women will take notice.