Desperate law students fined £1,000 for breaking into SDR to steal textbooks
Desperate times call for desperate measures!
Police were called to Aberdeen University today as two final year law students attempted to break into the Sir Duncan Rice library.
The students who were warned by Aberdeen campus staff that action would be taken if they did not leave the premises. They refused to leave voluntarily shouting: “It’s for my education!”, and were issued a £1,000 fine between them.
The final year students attempted to resist the police and explain the circumstances in which they said: “Is it a crime to get my education?”
Miss E. Normous Ego was the mastermind behind the plan and told the Tab Aberdeen she had got the idea from a movie: “It seemed easy enough, I looked at how to break in with a credit card on YouTube. And I would have got away with it if it wasn’t for the security”.
Her accomplice, Miss Iona Naydegree, said: “She didn’t understand why the university weren’t being more understanding. It’s like they want us to fail”.
Mr Justin Time, the head of university security said he was horrified to see the students blatantly ignoring the universities clear instructions: “Never in my forty years of working here have I encountered such disobedient students. I tried to relay the situation to them, but they told me they’d rather get corona than a 2:1”.
Chief Policeman , J. Walker, weighed in on the situation commenting: “Whilst tensions among these uncertain times are running high, this is no excuse for criminality! You would think law students, of all people, are well aware of how the law works. We hope that by giving them this fine it will set an example to others considering breaking the law”.
The police are currently in discussions with the university as to whether a policeman should be stationed outside the library for the foreseeable future.
If you made it this far you should probably check the date.