20 things that’ll definitely happen living at Hillhead

Living at Hillhead is one of the best things about first year. You’ll meet new friends, gain new experiences and a toned pair of legs thanks to tackling Seaton Park hill on the daily. This is a list of things that are guaranteed to happen to you during the best/worst/oddest year of your life.

1. Freshers flat parties are sweaty and messy

Forget the small talk of average parties, confidently introduce yourself, what you study and tan your bottle of Lambrini. IT’S SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE. With about 30 in a corridor and lack of oxygen in the kitchen, you'll call it a night, but not before stopping at the neighbours party in New Carnegie. It would be rude not to.

2. New Carnegie will become THE place for prinks

No offence Hector Boyce, but that beautiful square of grass with the benches in the middle is better than Atik itself. Pre's means standing in a massive group in the middle of the blocks, talking as loudly as you want. Spilling a drink isn’t a problem either when the floor is grass.

3. The seagulls WILL attack

The beady eyes of the gulls will watch you at Hillhead and they will snatch your meal. DO NOT take toast outside unless you’re ok with losing a finger. Waking up to the sound of students screaming while being swooped at isn't something you'll miss.

4. You’ll be tragically unprepared for the first fire drill

Try to be as prepared as possible to avoid the shouting and the fines. Don’t be those people wearing pyjamas and slippers; carrying down a bottle of wine. Everyone caught unaware has to buy a round of shots at Revs for the rest of the flat!

5. You’ll break your key

Who even thought flimsy key cards were a good idea for students? It’s impossible to stop it from bending, cracking and snapping in half or losing the key itself. Don’t even get me started on the doors locking themselves, which will leave you stuck outside your room. You'll be forced to run past the entirety of Grant Court in your pj shorts and flatmate's jumper, just to get a grilling from the porters as you beg them to let you in 'just this one time'.

6. You’ll bond with the SRAs… drunkenly

You’ll definitely attempt to feed them your chips and cheese or pizza with garlic mayo (a delicacy), as you gossip with them about who your flatmates are pulling and update them on how the flat is really getting on – even though they didn’t ask. It’ll get easier seeing them sober, I promise.

7. You’ll become a regular shopper

Two pizzas for a fiver? For a hungover student, that is a steal. With a mediocre selection of booze and study supplies, what more could you want? Whether its freshers week or exam season, that shop will be your saviour.

8. You’ll never get used to the stairs in New Carnegie

Unless you’re steaming, then you’re at the top in a matter of seconds with no recollection of how you managed them. At least you can skip your sesh at the Sports Village and not feel quite so bad about it. Plus, all that stair climbing is guaranteed to give you a great bum by the end of the year.

9. Circuit laundry will become your arch enemy

Breakdowns will be a regular occurrence – for both you and the machines. Not only do you play the guessing game of “do you have enough credit on your card?” you'll have the fear of someone stealing your underwear. What more could you want?

10. You’ll never walk to uni alone

Watching freshers trail through Seaton Park everyday is like a live showing of Planet Earth 2. It is almost impossible not to meet someone you know as you pass each other sweating from the steep hills. It isn't always great when it's that guy you ditched at the bar in Underground the night before. Head down, earphones in.

11. The recycling bins will remain a mystery to you

We all love saving the planet but it's a stretch to expect hungover student to trekking over to the recycling bins. Quickly, the blue recycling bag becomes a second back-up bin and soon enough all thoughts of separating your cardboard from your plastic have disappeared. The damage was done already, right?

12. You’ll get into at least one fight about taxis

Grabbing a taxi becomes a sport at Hillhead, especially when you miss the last bus. We’ve all been guilty of jumping into a taxi that we didn’t actually order; pretending to be Jenna going to Underground. However, it’s the ultimate betrayal when someone does it to you. Drivers listening to your drunken chat about the night out are the real heroes of the night.

13. Buses will become the best pre's

With a bus stop in the middle of Hillhead, you may as well use it. Being able to drink without the constant nagging of taxi drivers and seeing those friends you only ever see in the smoking area of Tunnels makes those bus rides the best part of the night.

14. Tinder will become so much more than a dating app

Turning the range down on location is a dangerous game to play at a student village, but hilarious nonetheless. Who knew that quiet guy from your business tutorial was actually a fuck boy with shirtless selfies and snapchat username in his bio? It’s guaranteed you’ll match with your neighbour and they won’t see the funny side of it when you send his profile picture round the group chat for the rest of your flatmates to laugh about.

15. You'll find a crush and low-key stalk them from your flat window

Will you ever talk to him? No. Will you awkwardly stroll past him on a daily basis? Obviously! Who cares? Your flatmates all agree he’s fit and will run to the kitchen to watch him walking to his social because, let’s be real, he’s probably a Rugby boy.

16. You’ll always pay by cash for takeaways

Avoid the risk of waiting 30 minutes for your delicious Dominos to be snatched by the pizza thief in flat 96. It’ll be the best decision you’ll make, and it's even worth the wait at the cash machines as everyone else stocks up on cash for Nox entries and after-club chips & cheese.

17. You’ll face-plant at the unofficial Hillhead ice rink

Every possible path becomes a major health and safety hazard. You can kiss goodbye to doing your washing for a week… unless you’re prepared to crawl over. If, and when, you fall it’s guaranteed at least one person will be watching. Count yourself lucky if you don’t have a full audience of New Carnegie and you don't end up on Aberdeen Spotted.

18. You’ll discover the study rooms way later than you should have

These rooms (located in the Hub) will change studying for you. With no more hikes to Sir Duncan Rice and by avoiding the sound of seagulls on the roof of your flat, you'll have the ultimate focus, allowing you to do as much studying as you can take before crying to your mates.

19. You’ll make a flat insta

Living with people for a year essentially forces you to have a bond, so the chances of giving up all your dignity and making a spam account with your flatmates is inevitable. Some will become renowned on campus whereas some may be classy, with a more limited follower account. Whatever the theme may be you can only hope it continues until long after Hillhead.

20. You’ll miss it when you leave

In the Hillhead you’ll meet the best people. You’ll be forced to bond with flatmates that will probably turn out to be your closest friends. You’ll miss bumping into friends on the daily and you’ll miss the lively atmosphere of the Grant Court flat parties at night. One thing you might not miss though, is that gruelling walk through Seaton.

Hillhead will hold a special place in your heart. Your the nights out, or nights in, and mates you'll make will be treasured drunken memories. At least you can relate to freshers the year after because Hillhead will never change, who would want it to?