We tested AU campus for coke and found nothing because you’re all boring
Is this how you’re coping this exam season?
The Tab Aberdeen found no traces of cocaine across Aberdeen University’s campus.
We swabbed the Sir Duncan Rice Library and AUSA's Student Union building in the middle of the day and found traces of no cocaine in the testing locations.
The coke swabs we used are soaked in reactive chemicals that turn blue in the presence of the Class A drug.
These tests are 95 percent accurate in detecting street-level cocaine.
The Sir Duncan Rice Library
It's right in the middle of exam season so we thought best place to start this experiment was home away from home: the Rice Cube.
Desks, computers and the bathrooms were wiped and there were no traces of the white stuff found.
Either the cleaners are really good at their job or cocaine isn't the study drug of choice for Aberdeen students.
Students' Union building
With the failure from the Library, AUSA Students' Union (formerly known as The Hub) was the next choice.
The boys and girls bathrooms were wiped down and again, no traces of the Class A drug were found.
Maybe if the Union building actually had a nightclub in it these results would've been different.
Just as you would expect, the University of Aberdeen has a strict no drugs policy, but that they understand that: "Alcohol/drug dependency is an illness and will be treated in the same way as other illnesses. The University of Aberdeen has a duty of care to all students.
Those who are concerned about their use of alcohol or drugs are encouraged to seek help and treatment voluntarily by making a direct approach to their General Practitioner, Student Support, the AUSA Student Advice Centre, or an appropriate external agency."