What I’ve learnt as a fresher in Aberdeen

We’re all freshwater fish in a big, salty granite lake

It's September, you're fresh up in Aberdeen. The car looks like an IKEA stockroom, you're ready to start your new life. You're ready to be a fresher. Scouring the internet for what to expect in the deen, you need not look further. Ladies and gentlemen, this is what I've learned as a fresher

The photos aren’t photoshopped, it really is that grey

The city may be grey, but the people light it up.

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Live ur best life

You will learn to love and respect Ketamine Kyle

There's nothing quite like bumping into him on a saturday night and forking out big bucks for a photo with him. It'll be worth money one day.

Get to know the chippy guys and you’ll get discounts

It pays to know people. Or flirt a little, your call. Belmont Kebab love a regular – befriend em and watch the benefits roll in.

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Don't graft other students, graft takeaway men – they feed you well

You can resit an exam but you can't resit a night out

It's Skite Wednesday. Get up, get dressed, get down. Folk tell you first year is the year you can let loose before the hard work kicks in. This is solid advice. Say yes more.

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The real reason you pay 5p for a bag

Aberdeen has a fantastic selection of pizza

Dominoes might try and entice you in with their 'student deals' but the real heroes of our times are AJ's for the best pizza but Snappys for the biggest. Get in on it.

You'll always leave a night out with something

It won't always be a burd (or a boy), but there'll always be something to wake up to the next morning that you didn't go out with.

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We're not all from Abs you see so we like souvenirs

Visit Independent Bars & Restaurants

They're often friendlier with better quality products and better service. If you're into your Mexican scran, try-out Burrito Cabeza on George St instead of Barburrito or Topolobamba

But never forget your old favourite, Pasta

Breakfast? Pasta. Lunch? Pasta. Dinner? Pasta. Trying to impress a hot date? Three course pasta with pesto.

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Served with only the best Aberdonian tap water

Make the most of your days

Aberdeen has so much on and so much to do, you've just gotta look for it. Instead of slobbing out, take yaself to the beach for a swim, blow your savings at union square or bounce down to the sports village to keep fit.

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Early morning swim?

Watch out for the seagulls

They're bigger than a three year old child and will stop at nothing to take you out. Beware, one quick swoop and you've been floored.