Everything that will happen on a night out in Institute

No one can entirely hate Institute. And those who say they do will still never object to a Friday night at Vanity. If you’ve got friends from home up in the ‘deen this is probably where you’ll take them, to prove that there is actually some kind of night scene up here.

All that said though, our dear old friend can be a little predictable at times. So whether you’re a fresher wanting to know what to expect for the rest of they year, or a regular hoping to reminisce about your best nights out, settle down, pop a straw in your VK and enjoy.

You’ll fall down the stairs

As soon as you saw the title of this article you knew this would be in it, didn’t you? If you didn’t, and this hasn’t happened to you before, who are you and how are you doing it. Seriously, your angelic stature must have you floating down that goddamn staircase. The excuses are endless – one step is shorter or squinter than all the rest or there’s a step missing – but we all know it’s because you’re too drunk. Anything to take the blame away from our vodka legs.

You’ll hear music combinations you never thought possible

Was that Justin Bieber merged into techno? Okay now we are into a questionable remix of an 80s song, and back to Avicci. To be fair, it’s game well played by Inny because no one can really complain, purely based on the sheer range of what they play. There’s a shite tune for everyone.

The DJs who make our Friday night Vanity

You’ll be peeing for an audience

Boys, our nice pants aren’t for you, they’re for those really nice girls that you only find drunk in nightclub toilets and who compliment you on anything and everything, including your undergarments.

It will be some kind of sports night out

“Ooooh it’s so cool that you play rugby.. wait what you don’t? Hockey then?” After a few deep breaths of the Institute infused air all the sports teams kind of merge together. Basically whether they’re celebrating a win or just having a “mad one”, you’ll know they’re there.

Don’t worry, look, they’re friendly

The club photos will make or break you the next day

Whose head doesn’t get the sudden “did I get a club photo last night?” terrors at some point the morning after? They will never be “alright” or ‘okay’. They will be ‘new Facebook profile pic’ or ‘never going out again’.

‘New Facebook profile pic’

There’s no way you’ll stay as a group

You’ll pop to the toilet and return to find that your friends are definitely not where they said they would wait. When you finally get a reply to your “Hepl me whre ar yo” text, it’ll say to meet them at the bar. But which one? The two staircases also ensure if you go down looking for them, they can go up looking for you right at the same time. Carnage. Although you’re certain to find another lonely drunken soul and become BFFIs (Best Friends for Institute).

The Olympic VKames

There are some people with serious VK related talents in Institute. Whether its the fastest strawpedo you’ve ever seen, multiple in the mouth at once, performing a shower routine under the sticky orange flow or holding a full bottle between each and every finger, you will be AMAZED.

You’ll see a seagull necking some kind of fast food

This isn’t technically in Institute, but when you finally decide its time to peel yourself off the dance floor and fill yourself with the food its going to expel in one way or another the next day, this WILL happen. It’s Aberdeen after all. My personal most traumatic seagull experience was when I saw a hefty one on Union Street eat a whole rice cake at once. That is something a person can never un-see.