In defence of the man pout
Be proud of your pout
We’ve all seen him in last night’s club photos.
The guy posing, eyes half-closed in what we can only assume he thinks is a smoldering gaze above a lip twisting pout that would make Derek Zoolander shudder in disgust.
I get it, pouting isn’t for everyone. But before we condemn the man pout as nothing but a passing turd in the river of time, a few things must be considered.
They hide your mirror-smashing smile
We can’t all call up a dazzling dental display on demand, but there are still times when, no matter your mood, staring slack jawed and dull eyed at the camera is not an option.
While others try desperately to stretch out a grin and end up looking like The Joker on MDMA, you can simply press your lips together and sit back, safe in the knowledge that nobody is seeing the spinach salad you just ate for dinner.
So while you may still look like a prat, at least it won’t require much effort or worry on your part.
They actually suit some people
This may be one of the rarer reasons you should consider putting on a pout, but deserves a mention never the less.
If you happen to be one of the few men out there that can pull off those pillow-y lips without looking like Dory from Finding Nemo then what are you waiting for?
Most of us find the prospect of contorting our face into an attractive pose pretty daunting, so if your cheekbones, facial control and disregard for dignity are all there then get pouting.
They show you don’t take yourself to seriously
It’s important to take the piss sometimes, especially when you’re so hammered the only place you’ll be taken seriously is the clubs exit and the only person taking you is an irate bouncer.
Nobody likes a super serious drunk, so when the drink starts flowing and you find yourself struggling to act like a dignified human then lose the dignity.
You’ll find everything much easier after that (until tomorrow morning).
You can even watch the pout develop throughout the evening from a slight pursing of the lips and narrowing of the eyes to a full on Blue Steel smoulder, each £1 VK bringing the pouter one step closer to a promising modeling career and/or institutes bathroom floor.
The science behind the pout
Studies have shown that a man’s gaze is drawn to a woman’s lips before landing on her other features, putting pouts high up on the list of attractive poses available to women.
And maybe it works both ways.
Some men claim the pout creates a 45 degree angle between jawline and cheek bone which women (and presumably some men) find attractive.
It certainly seems like a legit courtship strategy when you’re 25 units in and feeling like pouting might not even be necessary for a word-slurring sexual dynamo of your capacity.
A pout conveys a thousand feelings
Facial expressions are a great way of showing how your feel about something; a smile you can indicate anything from “Good to see you” to “Avoid Seaton Park tonight”.
Why limit your expressive capability?
How can you tacitly convey your disgust at the latest bottom of the barrel Tab topic?
By pulling out a pout.
How can you show the smooth, confident inner lothario you buried beneath the slobbering exterior of somebody who should have been chucked out by the bouncers a long time ago?
Just press your lips together and get pouting.