Every drunk girl you meet in club bathrooms

We all know one, and not just in the Deen


Actually going to the loo is only a minor blip in the events that transpire in a girl’s bathroom trip.

Play your cards right (or wrong) and you can lose hours tripping over the soggy floors while sorting out your new bezzie’s make up and asking for life advice from the toilet attendant.

But that’s not to say we’re all the same.

The ones sharing the cubicle

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Whether you’ve been best friends for years, or have just known each other for seconds, sharing a cubicle is a rite of passage on a night out.

We convince ourselves that cubicle sharing is a quicker way to bypass the always present queue in the girl’s bathroom, yet we seem to forget the logistics of wiggling around in a cubicle.

But more than a way to avoid the queue and keep the door closed, it’s a chance to gossip, and is a mark of real friendship.

The girl’s bathroom is a place of salvation for any events in a night out, and a cubicle is the most appropriate place for describing the guy you think is fit and telling each other how much you love one another.

The ones having an intervention

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We’ve all been there- you’re out, you’re drunk and a friend wants to text someone she shouldn’t.

Whether it’s someone she’s currently seeing, an ex, or someone she hasn’t talked to in months, an act of aggressive persuasion to put the phone away always ensues.

Whether standing in a cubicle, or while blocking the hand dryers, we explain to our friends that “you’re a queen, he’s a peasant” (overheard in Garage).

We force them to put their phone away and tell them to go and find another guy for the night. But in reality, they’ve already texted him.

The ones discovering a mutual interest

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The girls bathroom provides the ideal location for discussion, purely because it’s one of few places you can actually hear each other.

Between walking into the bathroom and fixing your makeup at the sink, drunk talk with friends and random girls lead to an excited exclamation: “I LOVE BEARDS TOO! I don’t know why, I just do.”

A validating, life-affirming, spiritual bond is formed in those moments which are always forgotten about by the time you head home.

The ones re-doing their makeup

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“Does anyone have any mascara?”

Despite taking hours to get ready and perfecting eyeliner before leaving for a night out, there’s always a girl with a makeup bag, convinced their look will be bettered by piling on more foundation and mascara while drunk.

It rarely improves upon a look, but we continue to add more lipstick anyways. And take up the entire area around the sink.

The ones taking a selfie

It's oh so vogue

It’s oh so vogue

With better lighting than by the bar, or on the dance floor, the bathroom is the place to find an abundance of girls taking pictures of themselves.

Snapchats, selfies, or mirror pictures, there’s always iPhones out in the girls bathroom.

It’s really just a tactical decision- the risk of unwanted photobomers is reduced and there’s no embarrassment involved in taking pictures.

The girl’s bathroom is a place of no judgement.

In a drunken haze, everyone thinks they’ve become models and pout like there’s no tomorrow.

When tomorrow comes, it’s a task of adding copious amounts of filters to the one salvageable, un-blurred shot among the hundreds that will never see the light of Facebook.

But sometimes it’s quite useful to see what new best friend you picked up that night in the bathroom.