Online Travel Maps are such a waste of your time

And they’re a bigger waste of mine

national noad

Rehashing which countries you’ve visited on a virtual map so “you can keep track” is really uninteresting.

Going abroad is fun, as is taking photos to remember it. You could even argue having a scratch-it-off map from Amazon or Urban Outfitters (if you haven’t found it on Amazon) is pretty cool for you to look at.

I might even like your post of that time you went abroad. You might get 50+ likes on that.

But I don’t need to see your Travel Map.

This is one thing, Travel Maps are another

This is one thing, Travel Maps are another

Where you have been in your 20 years on this planet is irrelevant to me and all your friends and here’s why:

We weren’t there

That time you were so drunk and had that deep meaningful conversation with your new friend Freddie you just met.

The ambiance was just right as you were talking over a campfire in Malawi with Wonderwall being decimated over an acoustic guitar someone dug up from the sand.

That’s worth a thumbs up at best.

How was Serbia and  Montenegro? - said no one.

56 countries, I remember Serbia and Montenegro like it was yesterday

It’s an excuse to talk about your gap year again

You came to uni after your gap yah, but then some poor soul asked: “So, what did you do during the summer?”

And now you want an excuse to relive the recycled memories you brought when you arrived.

Well done for teaching some African children, and doing that amazing project with deaf Ugandans, but it’s worse than bragging, and that makes you look really silly when people go and back stalk you in five years time.


You’re not actually going abroad when you say it

It’s literally just a thought that you have vomited on to Facebook, I wish you hadn’t.

Good for you

Good for you

Saying you have re-acquired the travel bug is like tweeting your 100 followers about how much you love seeing a rainbow now and again.

It leaves me anticipating your status about how you just ate a tuna mayo sandwich with a commentary of how dry it was when it was stuck to the back of your teeth.

But it also means more adverts by Facebook promoting these:

This will keep happening

This will keep happening

It’s the least liked thing on everyone’s feeds

The Travel Maps app is about as exciting to see as finding out which Disney Song best describes your life.

It’s irrelevant and spam.

It’s not a competition, no one is going to ask you how France was, so that you can reply with: “Which time? :)”



less-likes1The Travel Maps app is big is because you just want to show off, what’s worse  is your own mates aren’t basking in your ability to make and remember “moments” with you, so what’s the point of them?

It’s like resharing an album you made from Thailand where you paid a poor man’s wage to sit on an elephant in 2009.

fab but your passport was already stamped