Bouncer attacked at St Andrew’s Ball won’t press charges

‘He threw a punch or two but a girl could have done better’


A softie bouncer who was attacked by a second year at the St Andrew’s Ball has decided not to press charges.

The doorman is letting the rowdy student off the hook and choosing to forgive him rather than push forward with the police report.

The bouncer said: “He tried to headbut me but failed. He threw a punch or two, but a girl could have done better.

“But he was drunk so I can forgive him.

Balls are always messy

“However he still ripped my jacket and I’ve only had it a week.

“That’s £70 I can kiss goodbye too.”

The same night two students were permantly banned from the city’s biggest club.

It wasn’t the only incident of the night.

But our big friendly bouncer has decided not to press charges because the culprit was just pissed: “The way I see it he has went to the trouble of going to uni what’s the point of getting him charged. It might affect his future and I don’t want that.”

Luckly this is still possible for Mr Fisticuffs

“I’m not going to press charges as he made a mistake I hope he learns from it.

“See, some doorstaff do have hearts.”