Being a shot girl isn’t easy
‘Customers often offer us a kiss for a free shot’
You’ve probably seen us in clubs and bars, peddling away our many shots and bombs.
But what most people don’t realise is that being a shot girl is much more difficult that you’d imagine.
Here are some problems we have to deal with all the time:
The worst chat up lines
It’s almost like there’s a conspiracy. Every man deciding to use a chat up line will blurt out “I’d like a shot of you!” with a great look of pride at his own wit.
Then, a look of dismay will follow when we aren’t wooed by his way with words. Sorry mate, heard it before.
And it’s not just the men. Drunk women will compliment you, repeating over and over again how pretty you are.
Then, naturally, ask for a free shot right after. Smooth.
Drunk people convince themselves that being drunk entitles them to free shots.
Even when we explain that shot girls pay for all drinks poured, the tipsy individual insist they “won’t tell anyone”.
Then, when we continue to refuse, the chancer usually remembers that it’s their birthday, though often unable to recall their own age.
Even if it really is someone’s birthday, (usually proven by drunkenly flashing an ID in your face) it still isn’t happening.
“In Magaluf I got free shots.”
“In Magaluf the shots were cheaper.”
Sorry to break it to you, but what happens in Magaluf stays in Magaluf.
Often customers offer us a kiss for a free shot.
As much as we’d love a slobbery smooch from a drunken stranger, it’s not quite enough for a free shot.
Basically, you’re not going to get a free shot from shot girl unless she likes you, a lot.
Freshers are the most annoying little creatures to ever graze clubs and bars in this country.
Usually with no more than 20 pence to their name, they scuttle around like tiny hyperactive vermin, shouting, singing and periodically being sick on the floor and/or each other.
On behalf of everyone, everywhere – grow up already and bring a tenner to the club, instead of “saving” money by getting absolutely paralytic during pre-drinks
Coming from a seasoned student, this will improve your clubbing experience greatly, trust me.
The Shot Blocker
This individual is a person who’s goal in life is to ruin everyone’s fun as well as a shot girl’s income.
Usually an overprotective girlfriend, the shot blocker shouts “no, no, no!” or waves you away rudely when a customer (usually their under-the-thumb boyfriend) asks to buy a shot.
Girls, as hard as it may be to believe, shot girls have no interest in your boyfriend, nor are we trying to steal him from you.
We are literally just selling shots, which is our job.
“Get yer tits oot for the lads!”
“We’ll buy shots if you give us all a blowy!”
Lads, I’m not sure this has ever worked, and I’m pretty sure it never will.
There’s something about a dark room packed full of people that encourages intense farting.
Shot girls have to stay sober all night, leaving us to navigate the club floor like a minefield of bad odours.
While I understand it’s uncomfortable to hold them in, we suffer so much because of your farts. Please make it stop.
Please remember we are only trying to do an honest bar job, so be nice to us and maybe one day you might even get a free shot.
Photo credits: East Light Media