Meet the brave students who got married to avoid deportation

Getting married at uni isn’t at the top of most students’ priorities.

But for one couple it was a necessity for them to stay together.

Sara and Paul tied the knot in third year to avoid the visa problems Paul, whose family live in Pakistan, was facing. Sara said: “We wanted to be together, the British government were changing visa policies and making it harder for him to live here.

“We didn’t want to live in Pakistan with his family, or in Bulgaria with mine.

“So we decided to get married to prevent problems when we travel.

“There’s less administrative bullshit.”

It was even Sara that proposed to Paul when she realised how much easier it would be if they were legally a couple:

“We were trying to decide between travelling and staying in the UK. We quickly realised it was going to be quite complex for him with cumbersome visa forms.

“I casually proposed in conversation after realising that me being an EU citizen would make it much easier, and that was that.”

Their relationship started like any other at uni, bumping into each other in the first few days of moving into halls:

“It was random, we met just outside a laundry room. He asked me if I wanted to smoke a joint.

“I could hear my mum telling me that this is the kind of situation you say no to – so I said: ” Yeah sure, why not?”

“For the next twenty days we saw each other regularly, we never spoke about it resembling anything like a relationship, but I guess we were seeing each other.

“I think calling ourselves girlfriend and boyfriend is limiting.”

Not long later, the then-typical couple began getting serious: ” We started living together. I still had my room, but I spent most of my time with him.

“We got married around two years after we first started seeing each other.”

But that didn’t stop the government double-checking the legitimacy of the couple’s love: “The UK Border Agency has come knocking on our door to make sure he still lives with me,” she said.

“They also wanted six different forms of media that showed we were together, including holiday photos and facebook chats.”

Despite this the couple still see themselves like any other couple: “Being married and having it on a piece of paper changes nothing for us. We were already living together.

“So any commitment made prior to that decision was already serious.

“We are very liberal, I don’t take my marriage seriously, but I do take my relationship seriously.

“Because marriage is a public institution, it is just an aspect of my relationship shown to the world.

“In the West, getting married means something to your family and to the legal authorities but it has nothing to do with our private lives.”

The Anthropology student explained how married life hasn’t changed her in anyway: “My marriage has not restricted my personal liberties in anyway.

“I have been known to be charmed by other men.”

The 21-year-old nervously giggled: “He was obviously hurt, but I told him immediately. And we discussed it.”

“I don’t believe that you only love one person and they should get all your attention.

“You can develop multiple relationships and some might share aspects that you express.

“I don’t think being married means your sexual life is owned or can be controlled.

“Before considering getting married I think it’s important to have slept with and lived with that person”

But Sara is yet to tell her parents she married Paul as she isn’t sure they would understand:

“I haven’t met his parents but I’ve spoken to them on Skype.

“My parents don’t know we’re married. They loved him and he loved them when they met this summer.

“I think telling my parents is ultimately my choice. I know they would argue that I am grown up enough to get married but not old enough to sustain myself.

“I want them to get to know him half as much as I know him now, the same amount I  knew him when we got married, before they learn I married him.

“I don’t want my parents to worry that I may have made a bad decision.”

The couple have had mixed reactions to their marriage: “We are selective as to what information about the general topic of marriage we accept and introduce into our own lives.

“My friends we surprised at first, but no one has criticised it.

“The thing that pisses me off the most is when I tell some British people and they say “Oh  yeah, the passport thing, I get it.”

But they have no intention of letting their decision stop them as individuals after uni: ” We talk about how life might look if I decide to make anthropology my career. I could be away for years doing fieldwork.

“But, we have both agreed that we could come back to live together, even if we aren’t physically together the whole time we’re married.

“We’re more like friends in many ways, we don’t do over-the-top romantic things.”

Even their wedding was a chilled out affair: “We got married in Marischal College in trainers and I was wearing a black dress.

“We went home and had a massive dinner and got wasted.

“I will definitely remember it because it isn’t every day you get married.”