Uni rankings give ‘bullshit’ info about Aberdeen

The Sunday Times Good University guide has this year ranked Aberdeen lower than last. And provided prosepective students with a handy Aberdeen Guide.

Ranked 44th in the UK, Aberdeen has tragically sunk below its 40th best position from last year.

Or is that 41st up from 43rd? That’s according to the contradicting Guardian ranking. And don’t even mention the Scottish rankings.

But does it even matter? And who cares?

This guy doesn’t.

Aberdeen has been enjoying “record demand” for places on its broad range of flexible degree programmes.

But not all students think this is something to boast about. Geography student Abi said: “A ‘record demand’ is a disturbing understatement in regards to the universities recent accommodation scandal.”

The Sunday Times Universities online profile says: “All new undergraduates are guaranteed housing – an important benefit in a city with the highest rents in Scotland.”

Yo Times, learn the facts.

Cara, a second year student at Aberdeen doesn’t agree: “Bullshit, Hillhead is extortionate, which is why I stayed in the Old Fire Station in first year. For communal kitchens and bathrooms you could have your own flat in Glasgow.”

The profile continues: “Applications increased in 2013, but Aberdeen had to cut its intake of undergraduates by almost 40% to keep within Scottish government limits. There should be more places available in 2015.”

Come here, Go anywhere.

It is also considered to be a “balanced University with roughly half of its students study medicine, science or engineering, half the arts or social sciences.”

And apparently the “adoption of ‘Sixth Century Courses’ will do nothing to harm employment prospects either.”

Calum a Biology student at Aberdeen said: “The appeal of Sixth Century courses isn’t that they “give graduates broader knowledge and more intellectual flexibility”, the appeal is that there’s no exam and that no one really cares if you go or not.”

The intellect needed for a sixth century course.

Concerning the location and climate of Aberdeen, it says “although the winters are long, the climate is warmer than the uninitiated might expect.”

The person who wrote this clearly never lived in Aberdeen during the dead of winter in a single glazed student house.

The ranking also gives the student view of the Student Unions President Emily Beever, whose words of wisdom are: “Don’t eat outside – the seagulls will get you.”

Her deal clincher is: “It’s a campus where you’ll always bump into someone you know.”

Hardly deal breaking stuff for Sixth Formers shifting through UCAS next year.