I spent a week without a phone and it was painfully hard

Standing at the bar in Institute, I reached down to get my purse and panicked when I found my bag was open. Shit. Someone has probably stolen my purse. EVEN WORSE. My phone.

I’m aware I probably sound dramatic but I am extremely attached to my phone and I know I’m not the only one. Everyone you know is accessible at the touch of a button.

Social media can be checked and updated whenever you like. There were statuses to like, celebrities to stalk and endless pictures of food to browse through. (Although actually that’s very annoying and just makes me really hungry.)

Without a phone, I seemed to go through several stages of withdrawal symptoms:

Day 1/2 – Anger

Well, it was more like fury. After realising what had happened (my friends phone was also stolen), we marched towards the manager as I tried to console her over her Candy Crush loss.

Very sensitive subject.

I will admit that some of my demands were a tad unrealistic. Obviously I didn’t actually mean he should search everyone before they left. Just, you know, the more suspicious looking characters.

Day 3/4 – Disbelief

I kept checking my bag/pockets for my phone. Absentmindedly I’d decide to check my emails or scroll through my newsfeed. One traumatising occasion consisted of me, my ex looking like a hobo, and a perfect sneaky snapchat opportunity. Tagline: What Was I Thinking?

I was devastated. All I could do was look around hoping I would see someone I knew so I could point out how far I’d come and how much I’d grown as a person.

Day 5 – Despair

There were no longer blissful times of unawareness, just this permanent sense of loss and confusion. Leaving the flat became a daunting process as I realised that I would be unable to contact anyone. WHAT IF I GOT MUGGED? Probably not going to happen at 2pm in Asda, but still, I was scared.

Shower? Get dressed? I refuse.

It also meant becoming an easy target for people who wanted ‘a few moments to ask a couple of questions.’ I could no longer hold my phone to my ear, talking nonsense whilst giving them an apologetic wave.

In a blind panic I ended up tipping the change compartment of my purse into a charity bucket, only to gasp in horror when I saw about 8 pound coins fall through the slot. That’s 2 bottles of Echo Falls for christ sake!

I became really annoying whenever I met anyone I knew. I felt it was necessary to explain to them IN GREAT DETAIL my thoughts and feelings throughout the process of becoming phoneless, emphasising the fact that it had been stolen by some DEGENERATE. Even after they had assured me that they knew what had happened I just wouldn’t stop talking about it.

Day 6/7 – Acceptance

I actually began to feel liberated! I wasn’t being constantly drawn in to group conversations on whatsapp or endlessly watching 7 second videos on Best Vines. When I was out with friends I began to notice how fucking rude we all were and initiated a No Phone Rule.

Wild night…

Yes, my reasoning was purely selfish because otherwise I ended up staring in to space waiting for them to finish tweeting/instagraming/snapchatting/flappy birding. Oh my god. THAT GAME. But everyone was communicating, and my lost phone was completely forgotten about.

By Day 7 I started to wonder if I’d even bother to go and pick up the replacement. What was the point? I didn’t need to be tied down to technology. I was free.

No more scrolling through endless garbage like, ‘Out for a long walk with the dogs’ or ‘Love a starbucks on a cold day.’ Seriously, no one cares.  I no longer sent embarrassing snapchats in a vodka-fueled frenzy and drunken texts were a thing of the past. Maybe I’d even move out of my flat, away from all technology and become one with nature.

I hate nature.

On Day 8 I went in to the 3 shop with the purest of pure intentions. I was simply going to ask them for a blokia type phone that I could make calls on, incase of an emergency and to let the parents know I was alive and well. Nothing fancy, just something that would cover the basics.

Then, just as I had sat down and was about to explain my revelations to the sales assistant, my newfound faith was tested in a shocking twist I hadn’t anticipated.

Did I know my contract was due to end in the next month and did I know I was applicable for an upgrade and did I know that the IPhone 5s has finger print recognition? Say what now? Needless to say, I crumbled.

Being sociable is overrated anyway

So what have I learned from this?

We can live without our phones and we would all be much more sociable creatures if they did not exist. However, they have already infiltrated our lives to such a vast extent that resistance is futile.