An ode to my Philosophy degree

My decision to study philosophy at the age of 17 was probably based on wanting to seem deep, and my hope that I’d be able to decipher films like ‘Inception’.

I have learnt many things in my years of studying, such as; you can genuinely have a debate about whether the desk in front of you exists, to be a true philosopher you must have a beard to stroke, and philosophy appears to have the highest percentage of pretentious twats per classroom.

If I could give a piece of advice to any fellow philosophy students; it is please do not think you have come up with some amazing , revolutionizing, self-philosophy/evaluation of the subject no one else has thought of.

Philosophy is old school and the tutor has probably heard your ideas a million times before. So wipe that smug little smile off your face and unfold your arms. The chances that you, a 20 year old undergraduate from the suburbs, whose mum still does their laundry are the next Karl Marx, are pretty slim.

I apologise, I seem like a bitter, cynical person and that’s because I am. I blame the crisis of graduating and realizing I am not applicable to actual reality. How many professional philosophers do you know? How have my years of contemplating what makes a chair a chair given me the tools for the workplace.

It is in these moments of depair, I wish I could go back to the time philosophy was held in high esteem, it was valued like an actual job such as a lawyer or doctor. It wasn’t just for those with a higher in R.M.P.S. I wanted to be the next Plato, Socrates or Aristotle. They were seen as great contributors to society until annoyingly medicine and science interrupted.

So while we were questioning how we know we exist , doctors were curing illness and scientists were explaining the origins of the universe. People just don’t seem to care anymore that us philosophers could discuss the possibility of an evil demon hiding true reality from us! Whatever, your loss.

I now feel kind of embarrassed when I tell people my degree, it always seems to be brought up with hairdressers, then there’s an awkward pause after I tell them as they don’t know how to respond. Philosophy is probably viewed as airy fairy and seems kind of useless in the real world.

Philosophers just sit in their armchairs thinking about the concept of language while everyone else is busy trying to contribute to the economy. Whereas, in fact philosophy could run us into the next recession, if people sat around questioning the existence of existence nothing would get done.

Philosophy is now  what people do at parties , or when they’re high. If you go to a party there will be at least one person discussing their personal belief  that there is ‘some higher being out there’, that ‘fate exists’ or ‘they were once a butterfly in a past life’.

Many fellow philosophy students like me (well probably better than me as I often find myself completely baffled in class to the point where i’m losing touch with reality) may be wondering what to do upon entering the adult world.

An obvious option as for any useless degree is  teaching. You can pass on your knowledge and enlighten many more children on how boring Kant was.

I am going to try to finish on a less depressing note. I actually think philosophy constitutes a central part of what makes us human. Our ability and curiosity to think beyond our existence, beyond the here and now. Humanity’s moral and existential curiosities are what separates us from animals, these thoughts form our belief systems and the way we see the world.

Therefore I see some use in philosophy, it can help constitute our identities and, importantly, it can make us stop and think in the busyness of life.

Not that those thoughts actually get us anywhere…