If there is one topic of piss-taking that every student knows about, it is that of the Arts Degree. Those studying for one are an easy target for daunting questions such as:

“How many days a week are you actually in class?”

“What made you choose to study that?”

And worst of all: “So what do you actually want to do when you leave uni?”

So what are our options when we leave the comfort of constant hangovers and blissfully bare timetables?

Teacher

It is the inevitable question at every social event or family occasion when you are studying an arts degree. After you have politely told them your degree subject, it is met with a blank stare and then that flicker of realisation. “So you want to be a teacher then?”.  It is the go to option for all of us and the one that seems inevitable the closer graduation day becomes.

Whether or not we actually have any interest in shaping the young minds of today is not important as it becomes glaringly obvious that 4 years of university education has simply enabled us to project our knowledge, rather than actually make a difference in the world. How nice.

One fellow English Literature student knows this feeling only too well: “I’m really looking forward to eating baked beans for my first year as a graduate before succumbing to a teaching position.” Others have proven to be equally as enthusiastic. ‘I’m going travelling for a year to escape it for a bit longer’ says Louisa, also studying English. While music student Jill cut to the chase ‘Oh Christ, we’re all doomed’. Hmm. Encouraging.

Living the dream…

Part-time2Full-time

You or, more likely, your parents have realised that watching come dine with me and vacating the pub are not acceptable ways to spend 5 days a week and so you’ve managed to secure yourself a part-time job. This is not something that you initially planned on turning in to a career nor does it, in any way, develop your skills set. However, the panic is setting in and the questions are becoming more and more frequent. In a mindless moment of terror you enquire in to a future, more permanent position.

Yes folks, McDonalds does indeed offer graduate positions. Trainee Manager, anyone?

Who doesn’t want to be this guy?

Groundsperson for RGU

I’m not even joking. A quick search through Aberdeen City Council’s website and this was in the top 5 job offers listed as applicable. Qualification requirements – Educated to Standard Grade level or equivalent. This is just insulting.

Interview went well..

University of Aberdeen – The Graduate School

For those of us that are unwilling to leave the comforting ways of our student lifestyle, this is a sympathy option provided to us that basically says ‘we are fully aware that there is nothing out there for you.’ The chance for you to live as a perpetual student, forever doomed to scouring the reduced aisles and that treat at the beginning of the month comes in the form of a zing-a-ling burger and a beer at The Bobbin (ooh the excitement).

After finding these less than appealing options I decided to see what others were saying about this and did a quick Google search. What I found was a forum on The Student Room dedicated to Arts students who are experiencing their own inner turmoil at the prospect of finding a job. Its title?

‘Aren’t arts degrees ACTUALLY completely worthless?’

Shoot me now.