V-Day Mayday

Valentine’s Day is known for its mass production of cards. What better way to tell the person you’re seeing that they are ‘on your mind’ by sending them a card written by someone else! This approach shows that you have not put in too much effort but  have at least thought of that ‘could be special in the future but right now we’re seeing where it goes’ person.

Here are some ideas that won’t leave your ‘not so other half’ feeling freaked out and running for the hills:

A subtle display of affectionate objectification goes a long way.

Alternatively, you could just send this person a text. A text says you’re detached, aloof and possibly just sent it as an afterthought. No big deal. However, there’s always the worry about how many X’s to send and here’s the big revelation: This person has probably seen you naked, you are entitled to send as many or as little as you want.

Of course, there’s also the problem of whether you two will spend the day together. This can be easily resolved by leaving your immediate surroundings, or preferably, the country. If, for some curious reason, you cannot vacate the 10 mile radius of the guy or girl you are seeing, here are some ways to avoid seeming like you have planned some grand gesture of commitment on this day of love:

1. Invite the person you’re seeing to a gathering with all your single friends to show everyone how much you are not a couple:

   We’re all single here, we even arrived separately to demonstrate how single we are.

2. Take this person to one of Aberdeen’s finest clubs. Nothing says anti-romance like a crowded sweaty room with the smell of vomit lingering in the air.

3. Treat the day like any other day. Most people avoid celebrating Valentine’s Day; send the person you’re seeing a text (see above) and meet up if you’re both free. It’s just another Friday after all…