Who is Aberdeen’s Most Eligible Bachelor?


Singleton #1:

Etienne Melville, (aka Bus-Killer) currently studying his masters in mechanical engineering, is a hard working man who gets things done. Sound the rugger hugger horn! If this is your scene you can’t go much wrong here. He can be found spending his days pretty much everywhere, and is the only known living man able to enjoy a sober liquid Wednesday. Just to tweak some heart strings, he has recently been hit by a bus, so needs a caring girl to lick his wounds (amongst other things).

Granite City Romeo

Granite City Romeo


Singleton #2:

Tom Adams, (aka Aberdeen’s Spencer Matthews) graduating in chemical engineering in November, is an all-round good bloke. This stalwart of the hockey club can be found spending his days mingling in grub, watching cheap reality TV and pleading to oil company proffesionals for a job. He is the man that can do it all – want a man that can teach you to ski? Respect you? Or even cut silly shapes with you on the liquid dance floor? Tom is your boy.

'The Dreamer'

‘The Dreamer’

Tab: First off, what are three things that you’d look for in a potential suitor?

Tom Adams: Homely, Wordly and erm, spoony.

Etienne Melville: I SAID LOVES A SPOON FIRST! Won’t judge my voluptuous figure. Road-crosser.


Tab: How do you think your (most recent) ex would describe you?

TA: Super-dooper caring. 

ET: High core temperature (winter is coming).


Tab: What would your perfect first date be?

ET: I’ll see you next Wednesday (in VIP duh) for a VK.

TA: Take them on a nice moonlit stroll down the beach talking about feelings. And then bang!

Granite City Swordsman

Granite City Swordsman

Tab: On what number date is it appropriate to ‘get physical’?

TA: When they’re ready. I can wait. I have the stamina. I can go months.

ET: When I need to wash my wank rag.


Tab: Fuck, Marry, Kill. Nigella Lawson. Miley Cyrus. Angela Merkel.

ET: All three to Miley Cyrus.

TA: That’s easy! Fuck Miley, Marry Nigella and kill that other German bird.


Tab: Plans for the future?

ET: Hashtag BBIO, I’m Becoming Big in Oil.

TA: Travel the world. Go global. Fuck it I dunno, maybe get a job.


Tab: Are you on Tinder?

ET: I AM Tinder. Slash it doesn’t always seem to work for me.

TA: Yeah I’m on Tinder. Don’t be shy… Say Hi!


Tab: How many matches do you get on average a week?

ET: I lose count after two.


Tab: How often does that happen?

ET: I need to get two…


Tab: And you Tom?

TA: Trip Figs SHUN.


Tab: This article is absolutely guaranteed to get you girls. How will you decide between the girls that make the cut and the ones that don’t?

TA: They can play fives after a nice sea-food dinner.

ET: I’d take a select few to the Loft in Perth, a legendary club, and see how they fare. Survive the night? I’m yours.



Tab: If you could redo university would you change anything?

ET: I wouldn’t. Full stop.

TA: I’m not going to be a ‘bean’ and say that I’d go to all my tutorials. This is off the record by the way. I’d have pushed for the elusive Desmond. [a 2.2]

ET: I would probably have had a drink. LOL.


Tab: What has been your proudest moment of your University career?

TA: Losing my virginity last week.

ET: Taking a bath in the liquid basin.

No caption necessary.

Institute’s #1 Lady Killer

Tab: Would you describe yourself as a BNOC:

TA: Uh, no *wink*

ET: Not my words… But others have said that.


Tab: Would you describe yourself as a bit of a womaniser?

ET: No. I am more of a cretin.

TA: No. No. I said no. Definitely not. I am more of a man eater. A tease.


Tab: How often do you go home with a girl and ‘get physical’?

ET: I can’t remember

TA: Just put ‘n/a’ for me.

ET: N/a for both.


Polls close Monday the 11th of November.