I AM BNOC: Upholding The Title

The charade continues…


Of course, a true BNOC has to be consistent throughout the year, all of that hard work counts for nothing if they don’t keep up the charade after Freshers week.

The upkeep of the BNOC name is tough business, with the nature of the job requiring them to be in constant club attendance, 2 nights at the very minimum per week.

They’re the ones who give their presentations still dressed in at least two items from the night before, dishing out high fives to fans on the way back from classes to retreat back to bed for a well-earned nap.

Two VKs = One Girl. The BNOC universe in perfect balance.

Two VKs = One Girl. The BNOC universe in perfect balance.

Every night is a big night for a BNOC, on a particularly name-worthy night they don’t even make it past pre’s, with the night ending after several budget doubles and a quick snog with the fetching blonde female (statue) at Paramount.

They almost definitely will have had an area put aside for them at Paramount at least once upon request, soon after which a Facebook photo will emerge of them triumphantly clutching the ‘exclusive’ white a4 paper sign with their name on it as printed by Paramount. Legends.

Friend Tokens.

Friend Tokens.

Given they actually make it to Liquid, they may even go onto buy a (75p wholesale price) of Chaumet or a row of assorted VK’s while generously dolling out helpings to all the ladies. After all, the B in BNOC could just as easily stand for Baller with the amount this lot sink on a night out,  on a particularly lucky night they might actually manage to get into the promised land to ball amongst Aberdeen’s big leagues in the casino.

The Master and the Apprentice.

The Master and the Apprentice.