Sober Man Infiltrates Liquid Wednesday

Tab sends solitary sober reporter into the Skite heartland: Institute on a Wednesday.

One of the most horrendous and undesirable experiences known to man is to go out to Institute (or liquid for you veterans) completely sober on a Wednesday night. Obviously going to ANY club sober on ANY night isn’t the greatest idea you can ever have; however, Institute/Liquid has the honour of hosting most of Aberdeen Universities thriving sports teams. I do not have anything against any sports teams and have recently joined a few myself, but where there are sports nights out- intoxication seems to be taken to another level. Again I definitely do not have anything against getting smashed but when you have to interact all night with drooling, incomprehensible students wearing a smart shirt and tie (with a wee bit of puke down it) it can get rather tiresome.

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Although tiresome, people on this level of drunkenness tend to come out with some cracking thoughts and ideas and so I decided to take a note of some of the more memorable ones.

People mixing up well known sayings and phrases were rife in the club, however, this one stuck in my mind. One of the captains of the football teams after coming out on top in a drinking game:

“If you can’t play the game, hate the player!”

It is inevitable that the much sought out after VIP area will split up groups of friends when one party is missing the fashionable pink band which allows you entry.

Brown haired male to his friend- “Give me one minute to go in there?”

To which his friend replied- “Okay that’s cool. I’ll probably just have a wank anyway.”

At which point I moved swiftly in the opposite direction.

The much demanded drink of choice, VK’s, also causes much hilarity.


1273371_549897481748860_930382153_o (1)An exchange between two friends:

“Do you want a VK?”

And with a daring glint in his eye he replies:

“Make it two mate, having a big one tonight.”

I think I speak for everyone when I say I hope he made it home all right.

I would also like to add that whilst I appear to be ridiculing anyone that went out to liquid last night: I was in fact insanely jealous and only held back by agreeing at the start of the month to participate in a charity event which requires you to go teetotal for the month of October.