Billy’s Horoscopes

Taurus:

Turn that frown around, the wind might change. Rebecca Black proved to us that we would all get that moment in the spotlight, make sure you look good when the spotlight hits you.

Gemini:

No, don’t.

Cancer:

Ping. Bang. Pong. Has it been long? People have been talking, you’re probably in the wrong.

Leo:

Wake up, look in the, mirror and slap your self. Please. You like how you have behaved? The more things change the more they will become similar.

Sagittarius:

Things haven’t changed for a while; perhaps its time to go back to those missed opportunities.

Libra:

The scales have tipped, you need to balance your time better and get on with that new project.

Pisces:

Your life is changing rapidly. Make sure you take it in the right direction or the people you care for the most may start to leave you behind.

Capricorn:

Life isn’t fair, but its still good, remember to accept the hardship and make peace with it, the bad makes the good. Stay strong.

Aries:

You are an average of the 5 people you spend the most amount of time with. Choose your friends wisely.

Scorpio:

Everything you ever did, everything you do and everything you’ll ever do is thanks to your Mum and Dad having sex. Thank them more.

Aquarius:

Listen to conversations; see if you hear what you’re looking for. Hold your tongue, you only have Juan.

Virgo:

Today the cows come home. Don’t forget the gate or the geese.