MAFS UK Christmas reunion bad

All the reasons why the tragic MAFS UK Christmas reunion was more eggslog than eggnog

Did the Grinch produce this reunion?

With all the hype we’ve endured over the last few months, you’d have honestly thought that the Married at First Sight UK Christmas reunion was about to change the television landscape forever. In actuality, what we got was the TV equivalent of when your parents forced you to go to a relative you couldn’t give less of a shite about’s house on Christmas Day, and you end up stuck in the corner talking to an uncle who smells like port and out of date pigs in blankets. Here’s all the reasons why the MAFS UK Christmas reunion was so bad it made us all into Scrooge and Grinch hybrids.

via Channel 4

The episode ran for longer than retail workers get off at Christmas

I literally felt like I was watching this for the entire interim period between Christmas Day and New Year’s Eve where you lose all track of time and have no clue what to do with yourself. The vapid nothingness where you’re surrounded by gifts and food and you lose track of time and meaning. That’s what the MAFS UK Christmas reunion was, except instead of gifts you were surrounded by Zoe’s pickled rat in a jar.

Why did everyone arriving take OVER HALF AN HOUR?

There’s no need for that to be any longer than the Queen’s speech. And by Queen’s speech, I don’t mean Thomas Hartley telling us the true meaning of Christmas.

The gift swapping felt so production heavy

Look, be honest with me now. Are you seriously wanting me to believe that Adrian went out and got a piece of coal from somewhere, wrapped it up and gave it to Thomas? Oh come on, darling.

Nobody checked that invite list twice to find out who was naughty or nice

Honestly, what a weird mix. Only two from the 2021 season? Not even full couples from the 2022 bunch? No shade to the 2021 lot, but like… do we care? It wasn’t a patch on 2022 and I’d have much rathered see this year’s chaotic icons reunite to throw cranberry sauce at each other.

There was no drama because it was filmed ages ago and we already know everyone’s situation

The Christmas reunion was filmed yonks ago, and all these yonks later hardly any dynamic in that room remains the same. Following filming, Thomas fell out with Zoe, Chanita, Adrian and Jenna permanently after THAT podcast appearance, so we already know the outcome of it all.

We also knew that 2021 Amy and Johnathan had something going on, or at least got close because it was all over their social media. So any snogs outside didn’t really have the impact they might have hoped for.

Thank Father Christmas for Thomas Hartley

If anyone’s going to give us something worth tuning in for, it’s Thomas. Like him, loathe him, whatever – his charisma and character make it worth a watch even if the rest of it felt like the neverending turkey butties your mum shoves down your gob to make do with the leftovers. Only less tasty.

For more MAFS UK drama and all the latest Married at First Sight UK memes, tweets, gossip and quizzes, like The Holy Church of Love Island on Facebook.

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