The Traitors ranked

Every contestant on The Traitors ranked by how pure evil they really are

Don’t even speak John’s name around me

The Traitors has me in a chokehold. Claudia Winkleman ensnared me with her wily show and I’ve fallen for it hook, line and sinker. My thought processes the last few days have centred solely around traitors, faithfuls and how I want to protect Aaron at all costs. It’s a game of lies, deception and wickedness – but some contestants on The Traitors are significantly more evil than others. And thus, I present to thee, my definitive list of all The Traitors contestants ranked by how deeply evil they really are.

22. Aaron

The Traitors ranked

Not evil at all. A sensitive and inquisitive soul who we all must protect at all costs. Aaronators, we ride at dawn!

21. Meryl

The Traitors ranked

When the wheel was her first time on a “rollercoaster” in her life? Not a dry eye in our house, love. Bit of an evil-free queen.

20. Alex

The Traitors ranked

I have to admit I thought this year’s The Traitors cast having an influencer in the batch would be the most insufferable, but Alex has been pleasantly inoffensive so far.

19. Aisha

The Traitors cast

Gobby, but gone too soon!

18. Claire

The Traitors cast

Quite formidable, this one. The Traitors cast answer to Sergeant Cawood from Happy Valley.

17. Fay

Fay seems like a nice enough lady, certainly not evil, but I get the vibe she could be quite easily swayed. And if not clocked, that can brew into quite an evil trait indeed.

16. Rayan

The Traitors ranked

I have never seen this man in my life. Couldn’t hum him. A ghost in the system.

15. Andrea

The Traitors ranked

I do not trust the “kindly older lady, protect her at all costs” trope. I am airing this one with caution.

14. Alyssa

The Traitors ranked

The biggest queen in the game. My winner. I absolutely love this icon. See how she’s gobbling up her promo picture? This is a place for legends, okay? Albeit, semi evil ones. She’s a traitor, after all. You have to be a bit evil to be good at it.

13. Nicky

The Traitors ranked

Poor Nicky got the shit end of the stick when she became the first casualty of the faithfuls. But, sadly, there’s no smoke without fire – and she inadvertently came across suspicious as hell. If I was a traitor I’d have got her GONE too.

12. Tom

All magicians are intrinsically evil. Sorry!

11. Imran

Imran feels like he actually wanted to go on The Apprentice but went to the wrong BBC show and just got on with it. If this man tells me he’s the youngest person to graduate from his course one more time I’m going to turn the TV off.

10. Ivan

An author of children’s books with the EXACT same energy as Kevin from Motherland. Aka, pure evil.

9. Maddy

In theory we like Maddy. In practice, she’s evil. Her theories are, above all, wrong – and what they’ve done is cause a catalyst for upset and grief. She’s theorised Wilf is a traitor correctly, but by accident. So no points there. A fluke of evil.

8. Amanda

The Traitors ranked

An instant gay icon, but a deliciously evil one. Do not be fooled by her charming, wholesome and soothing dulcet Welsh tones – this woman would kill you where you stand. Ruthless. A great and evil traitor.

7. Wilfred

The sort of devious buffoon who is going to screw it all up for the traitors. He didn’t deserve to be one, he wanted it too badly. The most evil of all the ranked traitors, and with good reason.

6. Matt

Why has this man made his entire personality declaring that Alex, a woman he’s known for less than a weekend, is the love of his life? Please, PLEASE, leave us alone.

5 and 4. Amos and Kieran

Oh dear, oh dear! I was rolling my eyes and groaning at my telly when Amos and Kieran decided to do the tedious, nonsense straight bloke thing and frogmarch the older woman to the top of the line and put themselves at the bottom in an attention seeking act of faux chivalry. How satisfying then, when Claudia Winkleman booted them out of The Traitors cast instantly – they hadn’t even stepped foot in the castle. The delicious ending for two of the most evil of The Traitors cast ranked.

3. Theo

I need to know why this man keeps crying, and I need to know why he called Claire his comfort blanket when he’d known her for less than two days. I’ve had indian takeaways that I’ve enjoyed longer, and you don’t see me crying over them. Unless they forget my poppadoms.

2. Hannah

This one scares the living shit out of me… Why is she so angry? When they got rid of yet another faithful and she screamed that she was sick of it now and stormed out for some “air”… Chill out, love! You’re allegedly a comedian! Give us a chuckle, I beg.

1. John

Despicably, terrifyingly, harrowingly, intimidatingly, menacingly evil. Pure villainous, and the most evil by FAR when getting The Traitors cast ranked. The streets will not forget what he did to Aaron.

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