drag queens Vecna

Just a round up of 13 drag queens that could absolutely *destroy* Vecna

Who needs Eleven when we have Bailey J Mills?

Vecna is scary, but he’s no match for a drag queen. Facts are facts, guys. Eleven’s powers fade in comparison to charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent, I’m afraid . I rounded up 13 drag queens from around the world that, for one reason or another, could smite down the evil Henry Creel / One / Vecna where he stands. Just so The Duffer Brothers know who to rope in for Stranger Things season five to help our gang destroy big V once and for all.

1. Shannel

If you think that Vecna could defeat the delicious Miss Mandarin (“Mmm, phiphiphiphiphip”) then I am afraid you are sorely mistaken. Shannel, all the way back in season one of Drag Race, took on the Vaseline filter and won. She argued back with RuPaul and Santino Rice. She told RuPaul fucking Charles that she chooses herself to leave because she didn’t want to be there anymore! The original bitch. Vecna is a Goomba to her.

2. Gia Gunn

Gia would walk into the Upside Down, declare that she saw no beauty there, Vecna would simply evaporate and she’d walk back out again. Unscathed.

3. Derrick Barry

Do not cross Derrick thee Barry. Many hath tried, many hath failed. She might not have known that nobody died at Stonewall, but she knows how to annihilate. Wrong queen Vecna, because she’s not the one.

4. Morgan McMichaels

I could have given this to many icons from season two – Tatianna would also easily wipe the floor with Veccy. But it is Morgan McMichaels I would love to tell Vecna he needs to fix his mug and watch our scaly tentacled king cry in the corner of the Creel loft.

5. Willam

I mean, come on.

6. Bailey J Mills

Bailey J Mills is the best drag queen in the UK and you can quote me on that. I think Vecna trying to get his gross little head around Bailey’s TikToks would be enough to do the job Nancy’s shotgun could not.

7. A’Whora

Would you mess with a queen who looks this? Even before you know that she’s got the savage reading ability to back up the looks, would you mess with her? If Vecna is anything as clever as he thinks he is, he wouldn’t.

8. Juno Birch

Any queen that can play The Sims so enduringly could deal with Vecna in a mere heartbeat.

9. Tamisha Iman

Love the visual in my mind of Vecna fleeing from a “Tamisha. Iman. Is coming. For you.” pursuit.

10. Eve 6000

Do you hear that? That’s the sound of Vecna cowering from drag queens – specifically the haunting image of Eve 6000 big reveal clown geish all over him in the Upside Down.

11. Delta Work

Would you take on a drag queen that annihilated a Subway sandwich “artist” where she stood for the barefaced cheek of too much mayonnaise? It’s not too late to just throw in the towel now, Henry!

12. Jimbo

I need Jimbo to smack Vecna around the face with those 10 stone fake boobies breastplate she wears and have him soar over the Upside Down into oblivion. And I will be needing that now.

13. Bianca Del Rio

End of.

RuPaul’s Drag Race UK Series 4 returns to BBC Three and BBC iPlayer on 22ndSeptember at 9pm.

Whilst you wait, catch season two of RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under on BBC iPlayer

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