A-Level results night: I went on a night out with the incoming freshers and it was chaos

What are they teaching in schools these days?

Whether you got three As or three Ds, going on a big night out after receiving your A-Level results is a rite of passage. You’ve spent the last couple of months unable to rid the nagging thought of results day in your head and whether or not you are going to get the grades you need. And then, just like that, it’s over and the wave of relief comes out in one of the best nights out of your then 18-year-old life.

Having recently graduated and desperate to cling on to any crumb of uni life, I decided to join them to find out what this year’s freshers are like. Schooled through a combination of Zoom and TikTok (and some in-class teaching), I wanted to know what’s changed? Are they still the same silly fresh we all once were?

I decided to head down to Ministry of Sound in south London where 2,000 freshers descended for its “A-Level Results Day Rave”. Between the Elf Bar puffs and the copious number of sunk pints, I managed to speak to hundreds of them to find out everything from their hopes and dreams to their Freshers’ Week pulling tactics.

Like all good British nights out, we started the night at Wetherspoons where I met Spencer who was buzzing. “Mate, I’m not going to lie, I did much better than I thought I was going to do.”

Spencer, who is going to Nottingham to do geography was hoping for two Bs and a C but ended up getting two As and a B. His priorities however do not lie in the library.

“I’m most looking forward to the nightlife,” he said to cries of “shaggerrrr” from all his mates around him. Despite his alleged reputation, Spencer admitted he doesn’t have the “best game”.

His method for finding his Freshers’ Week fling is to look at a girl from across the club and ask her “What’s your name?” and then “Where are you from?”.

“Then you give them the eyes. It’s seductive and you can sense the vibe from there. If it’s not on, it’s not on.”

Spencer giving me his famous eyes

Meanwhile, in the smokers’ area, I caught up with another fresher who’s going to study zoology at Exeter. I wasn’t 100 per cent sure what studying zoology actually involved but she told me it’s “animals and that, you know” so now I know.

Exeter are raising ambitious students, it would seem. “I want to be the Tiger King,” she said. “I want my own documentary and I want to be the king. I’m the next David Attenborough, you know what I mean?”

As the drinks continued to flow, we settled down for a serious debate with the freshers about their icks. Apparently if a girl calls you “bruv” that’s a big red flag. If you’re a bloke, don’t mention that you play Fortnite. “If he’s playing Fortnite every day, he goes from a 10 to a three”, one student said.


After a few hours in Spoons, the pitchers were clearly getting to the freshers and we began to speak candidly. Some said they were worried about making friends, others were worried they would miss their friends from home too much. Kent Uni fresher, Karla, however told me her biggest fear is “my boyfriend cheating on me”. Skrr.

Going by the number of boys who said they were most looking forward to pulling girls, maybe she should be worried. When I asked Cardiff fresher, Joe about cheating, he explained to me: “Uni’s uni. You never know. Play it by ear.”

His mate then told me that Joe carries 12 condoms on him at all times just in case. Unfortunately, other than some lip balm and what appeared to be a vape, his bum bag did not have a dozen condoms in it.

There was a growing sense of excitement in the air as trickles of students began to walk towards Ministry. In the queue, I met an increasing number of people telling me they got straight A*s although I’m not sure how accurate those results really were.

Even the students who hadn’t yet got their places confirmed, seemed relaxed. Claudia is going to “maybe Nottingham Trent”. Jack, meanwhile had come all the way to Ministry of Sound for an A-Level results day rave but hadn’t actually checked UCAS yet to see where he was going. He’s going to Bristol he “reckons”.  He confessed his parents were “super disappointed in my attitude this morning”.

Having spent four hours with the new freshers, I decided to call it a night. What did I learn? The freshers largely have two things on their mind. Pulling and nights out. But beyond that, there was a genuine sense of excitement from everyone I spoke to about going. With Elf Bars in hand and customary lanyards around their necks, this year’s fresh are ready to take over your campus.


Introducing the future generation of uni students 👀 #uni #university #alevels2022 #resultsday2022 #fyp

♬ CRUISING SAILOR – Fridolin Walcher

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