The wait is over: The definitive ranking of every Islander from Love Island 2022

In the immortal words of Cheryl Fergison, “And, that’s, a, wrap, folks.” Love Island 2022 is at its finale and the end is well and truly nigh. And honestly? I do not think I will ever miss a season of this show like I’ll miss this one. This season has been nothing short of a rollercoaster – toxic lows and euphoric reality TV highs. The batch of influencer destined Islanders we spent out summer with have never been more chaotic and quotable. For the first time in forever, Love Island never felt like a chore – and that’s down to the troupe of characters who’ve left us aghast at their antics over the last 60 days. But who out of the 36 Islanders of Love Island 2022 reigned supreme? Here’s all the Islanders of Love Island 2022 arbitrarily ranked by however I see fit! By whoever has made my last few months one for the 9pm history books! ‘ERE WE GO!

36. Luca

Nobody has ever made me know I should always trust my gut instincts like Luca Bish. Trust the Duchess as Alyssa Edwards once said, and that is what I will do when I get the bad vibes radiating from a Winston Churchill tattoo on a forearm. Luca is potentially one of the most toxic men in the history of reality TV. His behaviour makes me uncomfortable, unsettled and unhappy. Leave Tasha alone, stop paddying around the villa when you don’t get your way, stop wanting to win so badly. Free Gemma.

35. Jacques

All the toxic of Luca but without the calculated brain power behind it. Seemingly had no willpower when it came to any female who gave him a crumb of attention – reaching fever pitch in Casa Amor where the behaviour was so bad I still can’t believe he managed to get Paige to forgive him. With Jacques, his bad traits feel like a product of the LADS LADS LADS environment he’s been deep rooted in his whole life. Bad communication skills and bad vibes.

34. Paige

A sickly sweet veneer hides a mean girl high school energy that has revealed itself slowly across the season. Coco and Summer have both come out and spoke about a nasty and cliquey streak in Paige that doesn’t sit right with me at all. No matter how many hunnybuns you chuck out in a high pitched voice, the truth always reveals itself. Someone on Twitter said she’s the spit of Ray Quinn from The X Factor, too – and whilst that hasn’t factored in where she’s been ranked amongst Islanders of Love Island 2022, I cannot unsee it.

33. Billy

Nobody who treats the iconic Danica as poorly as this shark resembling man would ever be ranked highly amongst the Islanders of Love Island 2022. Telling her to not swear? Play stupid games, you win stupid prizes.

32. George

Initially thought of all the Casa Amor fellas that George seemed alright. He then left the villa and made it his mission to keep God-Su’s name permanently in his mouth. Bad move, pal!

31. Jazmine

I have never seen this woman in my life.

30. Samuel

We are now in the depths of the Casa Amor Islanders ranked slog, where people who made minimal impact on both Love Island 2022 and our lives in general get slotted into poor positions. We all scroll past onto more interesting things. The circle of life.

29. Mollie

For some reason chose to drag Davide’s name through the mud rather than expose Jacques further for his Casa Amor philandering. We were rooting for you Mollie!

28. Jack

Reading Jack Keating’s eyesore tattoo tells us that “What’s meant for you won’t pass you by” – which is ironic considering that Love Island has absolutely passed him by and he might as well not have bothered. The secondary nepotism baby of the season followed in the footsteps of his dad’s last album and flopped.

27. Cheyanne

Cheyanne fills the yearly quota for “Girl with blonde bob that enters in Casa Amor, stays for a few days, goes home” and for that we wish her well.

26. Reece

I can’t take Reece seriously because his accent haunts my every waking moment. I know he can’t help that, but them’s the brakes. It’s comedy gold to me that he thought he could have a crack at getting with Mother-Su. Reece should take the Love Island photographer to court for making him look like he belongs in Madame Tussaud’s.

25. Ikenna

When you end up best known for how funny your account handler was when they were running your social media during your stint on Love Island it never particularly bodes well for lasting memorability.

24. Josh

I had high hopes for Josh, but every tongue that rises against Danica shall fall. And fall he did.

23. Amber

It literally feels like 300 years since Amber was on Love Island 2022 – of all the Islanders ranked here I thought she’d be a main character til the end. Then Twitter decided they hated her for absolutely no reason. What was all that about?

22. Remi

Called out Jacques for his shit behaviour in and out of the villa, and whilst we barely got to know him, that’s king shit I fear.

21. Afia

The first Islander officially dumped from the villa. It just didn’t work out for Afia, but she seemed like a nice enough girly and was an ally of Icon-Su from day one – for that she will always be famous. I love that she’s spent the last two months laughing at her flop Love Island appearance on TikTok. Nice vibes!

20. Lacey

Saying “I might do the splits occasionally to get some attention” in your entrance introduction is high camp indeed. I wish Ar Lacey came in earlier because she had icon potential. Robbed!

19. Antigoni

Trying to turn a blind eye to the fact that her mother is a presenter on GB News, Antigoni mostly seemed like a nice girl besides the time she kicked off at Danica for picking Jay when coupling up even though Danica had literally every right to. A formidable contender to win the coveted Best Hair of Love Island 2022 award.

18. Dami

I have seriously ummed and ahhed about where to get Dami ranked amongst the Islanders of Love Island 2022. I have never known anyone on this show to have such a spectacular Casa Amor fall from grace. His behaviour was shocking and I can’t believe that Indiyah forgave him as he perpetuated double standards. He’s been too aligned with Luca, he’s been nasty to Tasha. But also, like Indiyah, I have sensed some redemption over the last week or so. He’s calling Luca out on his bullshit and he’s taking the steps towards being sound. And I respect the changes!

I’m glad Indiyah’s iconic mum didn’t let him have an easy ride when I feel like Indiyah sometimes did. He marks the halfway point here, and I think that’s fair because I feel so conflicted on him. Highlight of Dami on Love Island 2022 was when he randomly decided to read people’s minds on the daybed and everyone acted like he was an oracle and it inadvertently caused World War III.

17. Nathalia

Every superhero needs her supervillain, and Nathalia was Legend-Su’s nemesis for all of 20 seconds. Despite the despicable audacity of saying “Ekin-Who?”, I have ranked Nathalia high for doing what’s needed for a bombshell and causing a little bit of shit. Ekin-Su cleared her on and off the pancake making pitch, but I’m grateful to Nathalia for giving us some bloody good telly.

16. Adam

Although we are all in agreement that Adam Collard is no longer Collarding like he used to, I don’t think I’ve ever had my jaw so agape as when the preview revealed that he would be returning to Love Island 2022 after his complaint-receiving stint years ago – and for that reason he must be ranked high amongst Islanders.

15. Jay

I know I said every tongue that rises against Danica shall fall, but Jay is so sexy that I’m turning a blind eye. I am wowing and bowing.

14. Chyna

I am a sucker for anyone with an iconic northern accent, and Chyna ticks that box completely. Convinced that the producers did her dirty and didn’t give her a crumb of airtime because she’s been a laugh a minute on TikTok since she left. Her and Coco are kind of icons!

13. Charlie

One of the most boring bombshells in the history of the show, who redeemed himself entirely by becoming the funniest Islander on TikTok with his iconic deadpan Q&A videos that I’m genuinely obsessed with. Just look at this. I’m laughing already.

12. Jamie

Any man that makes Danica happy is a friend of mine! I wish Jamie came in earlier so his and Danica’s relationship could have blossomed nicely and then we’d see them in the final instead of pigging Luca. Underrated king. Lovely vibes. Would go for a pint of Amstel with him.

11. Deji

Gave us the best facial expression reactions of Love Island 2022 and for that we owe him our lives.

10. Liam

See what happens when you’re a nice fella? You do a few episodes on a TV show, leave on your own terms with a warm smile and a bellowing “Love Island bay-bee” and you still manage to kick off the top 10 of all Love Island 2022 Islanders ranked. Salt of the earth!

9. Summer

Howdy y’all! Although Summer is actually patient zero for the harrowing pandemic of every Islander suddenly talking inexplicably with an American accent, I think she was treated completely unfairly by Dami and got done dirty. She left the villa and put Paige on blast for her mean girl vibes and for that she gets my claps and cheers.

8. Andrew

My relationship with Andrew across this season of Love Island has been a bigger rollercoaster than anything Thorpe Park or Alton Towers could ever hope to offer. I literally have whiplash from how much I’ve changed my mind on this man. Today, we are closing the season with him being one of the most adorable and lovable men on the entire season. I am completely besotted with his and Tasha’s relationship and if you told me this about a month ago I’d have laughed you into oblivion. And yes, that was a discreet Alton Towers referential joke.

How can a man who gifted us the greatest Love Island exchange in the entire history of the show not be standing proud in the top 10 of all Islanders ranked from Love Island 2022? SUCKED HER TIT OR WHATEVER. LICKED HER TIT OR WHATEVER. Truly immortal words.

7. Coco

Coco Lodge is a catalyst for reality TV perfection. She was the definition of a bombshell. She is the owner of the licked or sucked or whatever tits that changed the trajectory of this season and our lives forever. And after Andrew did her absolutely dirty post-cast, she went around the villa like the cat who got the cream and caused mayhem. It was a Love Island revenge saga in the realm of Kill Bill.

She then stood up for herself royally following the show after Summer said that the lads called her a 4/10 and that Paige laughed about it. Queen of taking no shit and being an absolute icon from beginning to end.

6. Tasha

Tasha and Andrew are so well suited because they’ve both taken us on a rollercoaster of liking them or even rooting for their victory. They’re the ultimate Love Island redemption – a couple consistently in the bottom who then manage to become absolutely beloved as we all collectively refuse to stand for Luca and Dami being nothing short of vile towards her. Tasha is an amazing person, and despite the fact certain men in that villa try and make us think that her emotional nature is something we should find annoying, has a massive heart and cares deeply. Lovely girl, iconic dad.

5. Indiyah

From the very first glance I got at the promo pictures for Love Island 2022, I just knew Indiyah would be one of my absolute favourites of the entire season. And guess what? I was right. She’s not as harsh on Dami as she should have been, but that aside she has been a joy to watch from beginning to end. Just a lovely energy. A great communicator, fair, calls it like she sees it. Sticks up for the right things even if her friends have a different view to her. I wish her so well.

4. Davide

Did someone order an Italian reality TV ICON? Methinks yes, because here he bloody is! Davide is guilty sometimes of the toxicity that has plagued the men of Love Island 2022, but he also has the fact he’s fucking hilarious and effortlessly daft on his side too. Watching his relationship with Queen-Su blossom from attraction to resentment to pure unfiltered love has been a Love Island journey that has made me cry several times. Truly mum and dad.

So many quotes, so little time. “Lyer, actress, get the fuck out”. “He sucked the boob of Coco”. “That’s my line, Natasha.” SCRIPTURE. Cooking With Davide deserves to replace Bake Off. Davide is an Islander for the history books.

3. Danica

Hello, good afternoon.

Welcome to Danica’s HR performance review. If you’d like to take a seat we can get cracking.

Danica came into the role with a lot of enthusiasm, and that was really welcomed by the team. Her energy was infectious and she always brought her best self to work. I think what’s most admirable about Danica is that despite knock backs from six different challenging clients she always kept up her tenacious energy and proved over the course of the quarter that she’s an asset to the team – and no, that wasn’t a pun regarding her twerking, but merely a professional compliment.

Danica has held her own this entire season and with her work ethic she’s going the right way for a promotion.

Kind regards,
Harrison.

2. Gemma

Gemma Owen is the queen of deadpan. She is so deadpan that every single thing that comes out of her mouth is accidentally the funniest thing ever spoken. Do you know why Gemma and Luca are in the final? Because Gemma carried that man on her back with her likability and we need to free her as a national matter of urgency.

The most remarkable thing about Gemma is her age. At 19, she’s managed to wipe the floor with every other person in the villa thanks to her outstanding communication skills and impressive emotional maturity. She’s fair, she’s clear and she doesn’t mince her words. Her pouring water into the mouth of Pancake-Su was honestly one of my fave reality telly moments in ages.

1. Ekin-fucking-Su

Mother-Su. God-Su. Ekin-FUCKING-Su. I don’t think we truly have basked and reflected on how impactful Ekin-Su has been on our lives over the last few months yet, and I don’t think we will until she’s no longer on our screens every night. She is unquestionably the best ranked of all the Islanders of Love Island 2022. Why? Because she is also the greatest Islander in the history of the show.

Never has a character so uniformly united the country like Ekin-Su has – the girls and the gays are all in perfect harmony as we sing from the Ekin-Songbook. Every person involved in the casting of Ekin-Su should get a raise. She has carried this season on her back thanks to her no-nonsense nature, terrace crawling and scene-stealing one liners. Better still, she’s gone from a villainous arc of chaos where we loved to see the shit she caused to someone who does nothing but boost her female Islander counterparts and build them up to know how beautiful they are. She is a gorgeous soul, and for someone who said they weren’t there to make seasonal girlfriends she’s emerged as one of the most caring and warm personalities the show has ever given us.

I cannot wait for Ekin-Su to emerge victorious tonight as she inevitably will. I want her everywhere when she leaves that villa. I want an album, I want her as a lead character on Corrie and I want her to replace Laura Whitmore and host the show. She has changed the trajectory of my life forever. Ekin who? EKIN-fucking-SU.

The Love Island 2022 final is on ITV2 at 9pm tonight. For all the latest Love Island news and gossip and for the best memes and quizzes, like The Holy Church of Love Island on Facebook.

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