Love Island 2022 Islander ranking

Ranking the vibes of the 2022 Islanders, based purely on their official Love Island pictures

How about I *do* judge a book by its cover


Love Island 2022 is so close that I can finally taste the shitty plastic straw of my official Love Island water bottle with my name scrawled on it coming out of hibernation. Yesterday, the 11 new Islanders we’re going to spend the summer wasting hours of our lives watching them pulling each other for chats finally got revealed. And I know the general rule of life is don’t judge a book by its cover, but I thought… how about, WE DO. I will judge these 11 books by their covers. Because a picture tells a 1000 words, and then you realise when you’ve spent weeks with these people that sometimes those 1000 words are all lies. So, here is a light hearted ranking of every Love Island 2022 Islander based on nothing but the vibes of their promo picture.

11. Andrew

Via ITV

There’s something very Curtis Pritchard about this that I find traumatically triggering. Please prove me wrong, Andrew. The only way is up!

10. Dami

Via ITV

I do not believe that Dami wanted this picture taken. I’m not convinced. This pose was forced upon him by producers and it’s resulted in an awkward lean and point that nobody wanted but everybody received.

9. Paige

Via ITV

I’m not having a bad time hanging out with the Paige that this picture presents to me, but I am having a borderline feral one. As I write this, I’m recovering from a heavy three days on the bevs at Big Weekend that could very much be described as feral, and I don’t think I can cope with the all night sesh energy our Paige is laying on here in my current state. Sorry!

8. Davide

Via ITV

In the words of Natalie Imbruglia, I am torn. The eyes are screaming for help but the body is the best thing I’ve ever seen in my worthless life. So, what now?

7. Tasha

Via ITV

I just know this girly loves an Aperol Spritz. We would meet in a smoking area and she would tell me that I’m slaying. She’d say yasss queen and we’d go on our merry way. LoveOfHuns.

6. Gemma

Via ITV

Have nothing to say about what this image gives me. It’s a blank canvas from Gemma. We could go either way. A calming neutral presence.

5. Ikenna

Via ITV

Oh, the vibes are vibing. I think in Ikenna’s presence I could only feel a sense of content happiness. The relaxing energy of this image? I feel like I’m in safe hands.

4. Luca

Love Island 2022 Islander ranking

Via ITV

I’m just a silly little gay falling for a silly little smile and some silly little tattoos.

3. Amber

Love Island 2022 Islander ranking

Via ITV

Take note, because this is how you shoot up my petty little Love Island 2022 ranking based on one picture alone! Amber is owning it, isn’t she? Working every vibe she can. Good times to be had all round here. I’ll have what she’s having!

2. Liam

Love Island 2022 Islander ranking

Via ITV

Every year, there’s one man who I take one look at and know full well I’m going to be putty in his hands for an entire summer. This year, it’s Liam. I’m honestly a bit weak. My typer on paper – aka, generically handsome man who could be from anywhere in the UK. Give it to me now!

1. Indiyah

Love Island 2022 Islander ranking

Via ITV

I would buy Indiyah’s album. It’s giving main pop girl. The hair is hairing, the makeup is POPPING and she looks like someone I want to bitch with about other Islanders on daybeds. Took the top spot of this silly little Love Island 2022 Islander ranking with ease. Hoping and praying she’s as iconic as this image when the show kicks off next week.

Love Island 2022 starts on ITV2 at 9pm on Monday 6th June. For all the latest Love Island news, memes, quizzes and gossip – follow The Holy Church of Love Island on Facebook. 

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