An ode to Nick Showering: The Apprentice’s breakout star and unlikely sex symbol

Do I believe in love at first sight? Sometimes. Sometimes you clock eyes with someone in a bar or a club or a KFC and just know that you’re drawn to them. But that’s not always how it goes. It can happen that people you distrust, find unsettling or are somewhat convinced are an android can evolve from someone you air with a suspicious and bemused eye to one that you can’t help but lust over. It’s hard to pinpoint when such an evolution can take place, but one day you wake up and look at them and feel like you’re seeing them for the first time. Nick Showering from The Apprentice 2022, I am talking about you. I give up trying to communicate in riddles here! You’re the one for me, baby. But when the hell did this happen may I ask?

I first believed he was either a robot or a reptile

The producers did my Nick dirty with this promotional visual. It’s just not an accurate perception of the sexual force of energy this man truly holds. It’s a promo picture that had me writing off this man before I even met him, although his choice of haircut here perhaps had him digging his own grave. For the first few weeks of January I thought he was a shambles. An awkward and oafish mystery that I couldn’t get my head round. Perhaps he really was an undercover journalist in the process to cause chaos – but I theorised that he was either an android or a lizard masquerading as a human. Both felt bizarrely plausible.

The vibes shifted on TikTok

Something happened when he got out of the suit, got a trim and put on a hoodie. He suddenly evolved from a caricature of an Apprentice candidate businessman and became a vibe. That meek little black hoodie had such power over me. His TikToks made him feel like not a reptile, not a robot, but all man. A man that I want to follow FYP trends with and make stupid videos.

His bond with Akshay confirmed that he’s a man of taste

Over the course of The Apprentice 2022, my future husband Nick Showering and boardroom assassin Akshay just sort of became a double act. It snuck up on us, but suddenly their bestie era ruled our lives. They had Ant and Dec shaking and quaking in their jungle boots with their chemistry. The nation rooted for them above all else. Even if they weren’t the candidates who should have been in the final, they were the two we wanted there.

Things reached fever pitch when Nick and Akshay collabed for a TikTok that was a sexual reawakening for many. Twitter went into meltdown. I felt like I was discovering I was gay for the first time, to be quite honest with you.

The Timbaland and Kerri Hilson? The Akshay and Nick out of hours gym session? Much to unpack here, and all of it good. It’s comforting to know I’m not alone with my slow burning Nick lust – one little search of his holy name on the socials reveals the thirst tweets of the into guys British population. We’re all collectively wowing. We’ve not all come together for something like this since we all wanted Little Mix to win The X Factor.

To conclude, Nick is my soulmate x

Nick should be the poster boy of not judging a book by its cover. At first seeming reptilian and alien in nature, here is a man who won the world round with a daft appearance on a TV show designed meticulously to make people look as stupid as possible. How did he manage to do it? By keeping up a can-do attitude, giving everything a go and taking everything in his stride. There’s something so sexy and admirable about a guy who is willing to go there, be daft, do some GCSE drama over some Harpreet Kaur baked goods. King shit.

I will miss The Apprentice, but most of all I will miss Nick Showering. Thanks for the great few months of telly, and the lesson firmly learnt about giving people a go even when your first impression of them is that they could very possibly be an android.

Fall in love with Nick Showering all over again by streaming the full boxset of The Apprentice 2022 on BBC iPlayer.

Featured image courtesy of BBC before edits.

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