I watched people on Love Is Blind date in the pods and I’m wondering if straight people are ok

My thirteenth reason is Shake telling Deepti he’s going to get her pregnant

Love Is Blind is unbearably heterosexual. Netflix dropped the first five episodes last week and after bingeing it all I just wanted to check in and ask whether straight people are doing ok? The first few episodes of Love Is Blind season two was an interesting watch to say the least. We saw 30 single people quickly boil down to six questionable couples and in between all that we watched a lot of painful heterosexual flirting which made me rejoice and thank god for being a raging lesbian. But of course you don’t have to be gay to realise there were some really horrifying moments in the first five episodes of Love Is Blind, here are the ones which stood out the most and made me check up on all my straight mates:

1. Shayne asking Shaina what she’s wearing every time she’s in the pod

To put it bluntly, Shayne has big man child energy. Shaina could be wearing a bin bag and he would straight up soil himself from the excitement. The fact he asked her every time made me want to hurl, it was so gross. It got to a point where I started shaking with nerves when I saw her walk into the pod wearing a crop top because I was too fearful of Shayne’s overly horny reaction.

2. Shake’s criteria for dating a woman is whether she can be on his shoulders

This man’s entire existence is cursed but when he asked whether he’d have trouble picking Deepti up on his shoulders at a festival I was ready to start swinging to the TV. How did he even think this was okay let alone whether it was slick or not? Episode one was complete chaos.

3. Shayne called Natalie ‘Shaina’ twice and then got mad at her

I understand not being able to see someone when talking to them is hard but then Shayne got angry at Natalie for getting upset when he called her Shaina twice. Not only that but Shayne said to Natalie she was his “number one”, so to not even know your number one’s voice is outrageous. He was fully ready to sit down with Shaina and ask what she was wearing. HUGE red flag.

4. Shayne is a walking red flag

via Netflix

As soon as he asked Natalie to be his girlfriend he tells Shaina she’s “so fucking hot”. This man woke up and chose to gaslight!

5. Sal saying he really likes the fact Mallory has slept with a woman

via Netflix

In a game of Never Have I Ever, Mallory asks if Sal has slept with someone of the same sex. He says he hasn’t but when she admits she has, he’s all over that and has a weird smile on his face. As a lesbian, this was verrryyy uncomfortable to watch.

6. Shake telling Deepti he’s going to get her pregnant

This was horrifying, via Netflix

The moment Shake laid his eyes on Deepti said he was going to get her pregnant. Now maybe it’s just me but I would have ran for the hills – how the hell did Deepti stick around after that comment?

7. ‘JerBear’ and ‘Mal Mal’

Jarrette and Mallory’s nicknames for one another put me on edge. They are genuinely horrendous and I’m seriously questioning how they call one another those names with a straight face?

8. Jarrette proposing to Iyanna after being rejected by Mallory

I’m not saying having two love interests is fine but to immediately jump to the second as soon as the first rejects you just stinks of wanting to say in the show. It’s giving second best and I really have NO idea why Jarrette thinks it’s okay to make Iyanna feel that way.

9. Nick making his own toothpaste

What in the heterosexual Whole Foods is going on there?

10. Shake telling everyone but Deepti he’s not sexually attracted to her

via Netflix

Soon after he’s grabbing her bum and saying he’s going to get her pregnant he then puts her in the friend zone by telling everyone apart from Deepti herself that he’s not sexually attracted to her. It doesn’t add up! Heterosexual dating is a myth and I am glad to have no part in it.

11. Mallory telling Jarrette her dream ring was his gold one

In a conversation with Jarrette, Mallory says she did like Sal’s ring but would have preferred a gold one (aka the one Jarrette brought with him). Then the scene cuts to Sal who looks sad and he says: “I know she’s not interested in me. And I want to go home.”

12. Danielle sitting in the closet and crying because Nick went to the meet up

via Netflix

This was really weird to watch especially after she told him it was ok to go. But all Nick did was go and pick up all the drama and gossip to bring back to Danielle. I am SO glad he called her out on being toxic because it was so sad watching her make him feel guilty like that.

13. This whole conversation between Shayne and Natalie

via Netflix

This entire scene is pretty much Shayne getting pissed off with Natalie because she doesn’t brag about him and how he treats her.

14. Kyle and Shaina being together when they have fundamental differences

I just don’t even understand why they’re trying to date let alone be married to one another. Plus it’s so obvious Shaina doesn’t even want to be with him!

15. Some of the ways Shayne sat down in the pod was an ick

I hate this, via Netflix

This guy sits so weirdly. No one can convince me he’s not seven years old and waiting for his mum to stop talking to her friend in the supermarket.

16. Finally, do all straight couples sing to one another?

It happened on the latest season of Too Hot To Handle as well. It’s seriously hell, it it happens again I am begging the producers not to allow the footage to make the cut into the actual show because it ruins everyone’s (mainly mine) mood.

Season two of Love Is Blind is available on Netflix now. For all the latest Netflix news, drops, quizzes and memes like The Holy Church of Netflix on Facebook. 

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