Cursed Christmas decorations

We asked you to send in your cursed family Christmas decorations and I’m scared

‘Our family tree is topped by a Happy Meal toy from 2007 of the mosquito from The Bee Movie’

Nothing quite says Christmas like home. Getting in from your uni house or flat’s dingy, stark, damp IKEA laden rooms and back to your mum’s for some festive home comforts. A nice big tree, lovely wreath, good food. But with all that tends to come the odd few decorations that you wish your parents left gathering dust in the loft for all 12 months of the year, instead of choosing to haunt you with them as you try and get in the festive spirit. Inspired by my mum’s own, I called out for everyone to send me their parents’ most cursed Christmas decorations and the results? Harrowing.


The Wicker Man reindeers

Kicking things off is this monstrous pair, my mum’s pride and joy and the inspo for this spooky round up. I have literally no clue why my mum brings out her Blair Witch Project reindeers Christmas after Christmas, because clearly nothing says feliz navidad like scaring the dog and a splinter.

‘It isn’t Christmas unless my mum puts a Christmas hat on her Buddha’s head’

That’s all well and good, but I need to know why there’s a pumpkin out in December.

Why are these all toilet themed?

Thus kicks off the first of five evil submissions from Chichester student Beth, and I need to know why her parents are fond of toilet themed Santa knick knacks as a matter of urgency.

Cursed Christmas decorations

Why is he trapped in a bottle? FREE HIM!

This is adult content and only for those partaking in x-rated Christmas shenanigans.

This is pornography!

I swear to god these cursed Christmas decorations are all taken from that terrifying playroom scene in The Woman In Black.

Nothing says Christmas like a big, fat pigeon

cursed Christmas decorations

Sent in by Conor from Manchester, I need to know what about this distressed pigeon has anything to do with the Christmas season. “I truly hate nothing more”, Conor sorrowfully shared.

Homemade horrors

“My boyfriend’s mum puts these on her tree every year – homemade by my boyfriend and his sister when they were kids.”

Honestly don’t know where to begin with any of these. Just when you think you’ve seen it all. THE CD!

0 per cent festive

“My mum’s cursed Christmas tree spring. It’s literally a spring you squash down into a box and pops up out of the box. Pre decorated, pre lit. You can’t add anything to it as it’s a literal spring. No branches.” From James.

‘Mum had this Christmas tree which is apparently for people with pets – we don’t have any pets’

Cursed Christmas decorations

Hun vibes only

Not even sure what happened here

Cursed Christmas decorations

Okay prepare yourself for this one

“Every year our family tree is topped by a Happy Meal toy from like 2007 of the mosquito from bee movie instead of an angel or star.” From Anna Chambers – presented without context:

Cursed christmas decorations

Related stories recommended by this writer:

• Build a Christmas dinner and we’ll tell you what uni you should’ve gone to

• If you have any of these items in your Christmas dinner you are a literal villain

• This country’s obsession with pigs in blankets need to stop