Every type of basic biatch you’ll meet at the pumpkin patch this year
Every single pumpkin patch photo I see on Instagram is against my will
At every pumpkin patch there’s a girl who dragged her boyfriend because she saw Zoella went. And there’s always the group of uni mates who go purely for a photoshoot and to find ‘ugly’ pumpkins because they’re quirky like that. Not to mention the people (these arguably the worst) who go with a genuine intention of having a good time. There are also a tonne of other types of people who you might not even be aware about. So, for your information, here’s every type of person you’re going to meet at the pumpkin patch:
The uni students who go for a photoshoot
In every group of four students, at least one of them doesn’t want to be there. The remaining three are absolutely gagging for the autumnal vibes. They’re shaking and they won’t stop until they’ve posted a photo on Instagram holding a pumpkin that’s got over 100 likes.
The girl who dragged her boyfriend there
Zoella practically invented pumpkin patches and part of me hates her for it. Girls who drag their partners here are criminals. They’ll even outfit plan as well probably, like matching jumpers and wooly hats.
The couple who go on a date to the pumpkin patch
This type of couple genuinely makes me feel sick to my stomach. They have the same energy as couples who do joint halloween costumes, but like seriously. I’m talking Bonnie and Clyde – excuse me whilst I go and THROW UP.
The person who claims they went as a joke
No one goes to the pumpkin patch as a joke. I understand people get dragged there against their will but no one would go for the sake of it being a laugh. It’s even more cringe worthy that you’re reluctant to admit you just like pumpkin patches. Admit you’re basic and leave.
The best friends who go and pose in wheelbarrows
Wheelbarrows at pumpkin patches are there to help move the pumpkins. They are not there for you to sit in and be wheeled around by your friend!! It’s so unnecessary and they never look candid.
The Instagram influencer
This is possibly the worst of the bunch. The one person who goes purely for aesthetic content. They’ll pose whilst they hug a pumpkin in one arm and lift their Starbucks pumpkin spice latte in the other. It’s hellish and I feel sorry for anyone who has to witness an influencer at a pumpkin patch.