We rated all the pathetic attempts at cooking made by Love Islanders over the years
Gordon Ramsey, cover your eyes
Last night, we saw the return of a Love Island classic- the cooking dates. In a challenge surely dreaded by some of the less capable, newbies to the villa have to pick three Islanders to go on a date with, who will cook them either a starter, main or dessert.
Isn’t it a shame Chuggs had already left the villa by the time this date rolled around, because watching him call his butler to make food for him would’ve been TV gold.
This challenge is the perfect opportunity for Islanders to impress a future bae with their culinary prowess, though over the years, there have been some shockers served up.
So, we thought we’d rate all of the monstrosities served up by the Islanders over the past few series, judging them on appearance, their date’s reaction and how likely it is to give you food poisoning.
Tommy Fury’s starter- 0/5
Let’s start off with the worst meal ever to be shown on British television, served up by the delightfully incompetent Tommy Fury.
The boxer failed to wow his date Maura Higgins with this unappetising concoction of un-toasted white bread with slices of cheese cut into hearts, topped with ketchup and mayo. He gets a 0/5 for how much this makes me want to throw up.
Tommy Fury’s dessert- 1/5
Luckily, we never got to see the dessert Tommy made for Elma Pazar, but it sounded pretty awful. Tommy described it as: “some chocolate, a blob of jelly, some jelly babies and in the bottom left, there’s gonna be a carrot in case they want to be healthy.”
Sorry Tommy, I think you missed the memo. You were meant to give her dessert, not diabetes.
The fact that Elma avoided eating the dessert by getting Tommy to play chubby bunny with her further demonstrates his complete ineptitude in the kitchen, and that’s why he gets a paltry 1/5.
Paige Turner and Luke Mabbott’s main- 2/5
When the words, “we don’t do chilli, I’m a plain-ish guy,” are said in the kitchen, you know the result is going to be grim.
And Paige and Luke M did not disappoint with this pathetic excuse for a main. An unseasoned chicken breast, a watery forkful of tagliatelle and three asparagus stems. Let’s hope their dates, Wallace Wilson and Demi Jones, ate beforehand…
Aaron Francis’s starter- 2/5
Sometimes more is less. Sadly, Aaron has never been told this before and decided to offer Millie Court everything but the kitchen sink for their starter.
He plated up mozzarella, tomato, basil, parma ham, bread, guacamole, balsamic vinegar and olive oil. Minimum effort and clearly minimum satisfaction, as it wasn’t even good enough for us to be shown it properly.
Michael Griffith’s dessert- 3/5
Michael chose to play it safe with his offering to Maura. Melted chocolate dribbled over bananas with some whipped cream. It’s not exactly much, is it? Some might even deem it… chaldish.
Hugo Hammond’s dessert- 3.5/5
Hugo essentially took a leaf out of Michael’s book for this dessert. It’s the classic “lots of different bits covered in cream and chocolate” dessert, which gives the option for feeding each other if they are feeling fruity. However, he does get 0.5 more than Michael because it’s plated slightly better and well… I like Hugo.
Nas Majeed and Sophie Piper’s dessert- 4/5
Okay so Nas and Sophie’s desserts weren’t the prettiest. Demi described them as “mountains”, and their shop-bought meringues loaded with berries, whipped cream and melted white chocolate were more of an Eaton Mess than a pavlova.
However, eating this mess probably wasn’t too bad, and after the shocker of a main Demi and Wallace had been served before, they were probably grateful for these mammoth portion sizes.
Siannise Fudge and Finn Tapp’s starter- 4/5
Siannise and Finn teamed up to make this starter for their respective dates, Wallace Wilson and Demi Jones. Whilst their toasted bread with butter, topped with prawns and mushrooms wouldn’t cut it in the outside world, compared to the rest of the rubbish served up on this list, they managed to do fairly well. And they did make an attempt to season it with garlic.
Brad McClelland’s starter- 4.5/5
Surprisingly, Brad actually whipped up a decent looking starter for himself and his date Lucinda Strafford.
He gave her a hefty portion of chorizo and prawns on bread, commenting that actual Spanish chorizo was “spongier” than the hard UK stuff. Decent size, decent flavours and spongy chorizo- excellent effort Bradders.
Anton Danyluk’s main- 5/5
Now here’s a man who can cook! Anton served up an impressive spaghetti carbonara dish to his date Elma, which she seemed to enjoy, judging by the big mouthfuls she was taking.
But if that excellent bit of detective work is not evidence enough of Anton’s skills in the kitchen, why not take Michael’s word for it, telling his friend it tasted “unbelievable” as he tried it in the kitchen beforehand. Bravo Anton, full marks to you.