How to get a robot to judge how bad your Spotify is, like everyone’s doing on Twitter
It’s bad, but is it ‘can-be-convinced-the-Earth-is-flat bad’?
First came the dumb bitch test, then came that dominant personality test and our very own Deliveroo Wrapped. But now there’s a new thing to reveal the innermost depths of your psyche: The “How bad is your Spotify” test, where a robot judges literally every single part of your Spotify listening history and then quite simply tears you to absolute shreds. Cheers mate, son’s crying because you said his music taste was “aging-boy-bander bad”.
It’s all over Twitter, but what is the “How bad is your Spotify” robot test, and how do you actually do it? Well luckily for you, we have all the answers. Buckle up kids, because you’re about to get roasted by a robot:
Okay but what is the robot that judges how bad your Spotify is?
Well I’m glad you asked. Like your Spotify wrapped, although not an official thing from Spotify and much, much meaner, this piece of AI “judges your awful taste in music”. At the risk of quite literally offering up my soul on a platter, naked, exposed and ready to be judged by all the world, here are my results:
It told me my Spotify listening habits were “60-dollar-white-tshirt-80s-prom-sitting-alone-in-the-cafeteria bad”, “succulent-growing-indie-pop bad”, and “can-be-convinced-the-Earth-is-flat bad”. In short: This robot absolutely had my life.
I’ll happily take being only 23 per cent basic, and I’d wager few people have ever been called out for being a Dad and a Swiftie concurrently. Did I ever wistfully pine over girls while listening to Talking Heads at school, as though I was in a 80s coming-of-age movie? You’ll never know. But if I did, at least I was in touch with my feels.
One of my mates has also done the robot Spotify test, and was told she is 40 per cent basic and is “stuck in the early 2010s”. The highlights of her results include “loved-Harry-since-X-Factor bad” and “crying-during-sex bad”, thanks to her obsession with Lana Del Rey, The Weeknd and Rihanna. Take from that what you will.
I really want my Spotify habits to be judged, but how do I do it?
Simple! Go to pudding.cool/2020/12/judge-my-spotify/. Log in to your Spotify, and then you can kick back, relax and let the roasting commence.
Once you’ve finished crying over your results, be sure to share them on Twitter with a very over-thought joke to let people know you’re really cool and totally fine and do listen to good music, actually.
Good luck with the Spotify robot, and I hope it’s not too savage.