nigella lawson

Ranked: The weirdest recipes Nigella has cooked on her new show

The banana skin curry is a no from me

Let me start this off by saying how much I love Nigella Lawson. The woman is a British icon who honestly deserves a damehood. She looks incredible for 60, has gone through a lot of shit in her life and makes me feel like I can actually semi cook.

However some of the recipes on her latest show are not her finest work or show off the skills she does have, in short they’re pretty dumb.

Now I may not be the best chef in the world but even I know how to make toast. We don’t need a lesson Nigella. But besides the toast there’s also been a fair few recipes she’s created that has left everyone going WTF?

These are the most bizarre recipes Nigella has cooked up this season on Cook, Eat, Repeat:

The creme caramel for one

via BBC

The actual recipe isn’t weird, just mad she put that much effort in for one. Did look good tho.

The liquorice cheesecake

via BBC

Name a person who loves liquorice more than Nigella Lawson? There isn’t one. Imagine having an entire trunk dedicated to different types of liquorice? Wild.

The actual burnt cheesecake was unusual but looked like it would taste amazing, it’s just a shame she ruined it by throwing a liquorice sauce on it.

It appeared like she just poured pure black treacle onto the cheesecake, which would probably taste better. Also could she not have found a bigger plate? Those blackberries are about to fall off.

The anchovy extravaganza

via BBC

Imagine spending half an episode on anchovies. In watching episode four I’ve now discovered every single way to cook anchovies and I’ve never felt like I’ve wasted 15 minutes of my life more.

I’m sure if you love anchovies this was great, but, Nigella I signed up to watch you cook pasta and chocolate cake, not a weird creamy fish concoction.

And then just when you’ve watched her make a lemon cake and you think you’re clear of the anchovies, they’ve popped up again in her pasta with chard. Which did look like rhubarb.

The fish finger bhorta

nigella lawson

via BBC

Sorry, but fish fingers belong in one thing, and one thing only – a fish finger sandwich. Now the rest of the recipe looks great, but add normal fish, not crispy fish fingers that can only go in bread.

And then of course let’s discuss the two spatulas she uses to cook it all with, it just looks bizarre.

The banana skin curry

nigella lawson

via BBC

No, just no. Curries are easily one of the best meals on earth, why, oh why would you add mushy old banana skins to it? They looked like mouldy courgettes.

If the banana wasn’t bad enough she then combined it with one of the smelliest vegetables – cauliflower. I’m all for a veggie or vegan curry, they’re delicious, but banana skins or any part of the banana does not belong in one.

The toast

nigella lawson toast

via BBC

They really spent a good five minutes getting Nigella to explain to us how to make good toast. I’m honestly surprised they didn’t show us how to put it in the toaster.

The bread she made looked banging but we all know how to spread butter.

Featured image credit: BBC 

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