prince charles tampon

Charles told Camilla he wished he was her tampon in leaked dirty talk convo

You know what, I’m kind of fine that The Crown isn’t including this

Throughout season four of The Crown, Charles sits and chats away with Camilla about a whole host of things. In clandestine phone calls, they long for each other and discuss the inevitability of him marrying someone else. But one phone call the show doesn’t include is a real-life example of perhaps the most rancid chat known to humankind: the Prince Charles tampon conversation, also known as Tampongate.

Tapes leaked from 1989 – eight years after Charles and Diana married, and while both Charles and Camilla were both still married – revealed a disgusting flirty conversation between the two in which Charles spoke at length about how much he wished he could be Camilla’s tampon.

Published in 1993 by People magazine – just a month after Charles and Diana split up – the conversation is some hall-of-fame flirting. Thank God Hinge wasn’t a thing for 1980s royals. Charles actor Josh O’Connor revealed in May that he demanded the scene not be included in the show. So here it is. Quick warning: You can’t actually unread this.

prince charles tampon

Here it is – the grim Prince Charles tampon conversation:

Charles: He was a bit anxious actually.

Camilla: Was he?

Charles: He thought he might have gone a bit far.

Camilla: Ah well.

Charles: Anyway you know that’s the sort of thing one has to beware of. And sort of feel one’s way along with – if you know what I mean.

Camilla: Mmm. You’re awfully good at feeling your way along.

Charles: Oh stop! I want to feel my way along you, all over you and up and down you and in and out . . .

Camilla: Oh!

Charles: Particularly in and out.

Camilla: Oh, that’s just what I need at the moment.

Charles: Is it?

There’s a break in the conversation here, as the person recording the conversation speaks over the pair.

Camilla: I know it would revive me. I can’t bear a Sunday night without you.

Charles: Oh, God.

Camilla: It’s like that programme Start The Week. I can’t start the week without you.

Charles: I fill up your tank!

Camilla: Yes, you do.

Charles: Then you can cope.

Camilla: Then I’m all right.

Charles: What about me? The trouble is I need you several times a week.

Camilla: Mmm, so do I. I need you all the week. All the time.

Charles: Oh, God. I’ll just live inside your trousers or something. It would be much easier!

Camilla (laughing): What are you going to turn into, a pair of knickers? (Both laugh). Oh, you’re going to come back as a pair of knickers.

Charles: Or, God forbid, a Tampax. Just my luck! (Laughs)

Camilla: You are a complete idiot! (Laughs) Oh, what a wonderful idea.

Charles: My luck to be chucked down a lavatory and go on and on forever swirling round on the top, never going down.

Camilla (laughing): Oh darling!

Charles: Until the next one comes through.

Camilla: Oh, perhaps you could just come back as a box.

Charles: What sort of box?

Camilla: A box of Tampax, so you could just keep going.

Charles: That’s true.

Camilla: Repeating yourself . . . (laughing). Oh, darling, oh I just want you now.

Charles: Do you?

Camilla: Mmm.

Charles: So do I.

It’s grim, yes, but I’m also weirdly surprised that Charles knows what a Tampax is.

When this transcript came out (you can read an even worse extended version on the Mirror) it caused a bit of a stir. I mean, it’s a vomit-inducing insight into how the guy who will eventually be on money flirts.

And why is the Prince Charles tampon conversation not in the new series of the Crown? Because Charles actor Josh O’Connor specifically vetoed it.

“When they offered me the role, one of my first questions was — I say questions, I think it was pretty much a statement — ‘We are not doing the tampon phone call’,” he told EW Live.

The Crown, he explained, is “my one chance for my parents to see something with no shame and there’s no way I was going to scuttle that by talking about tampons on Netflix.”

The Crown season four is available on Netflix now. For all the latest Netflix news, drops and memes like The Holy Church of Netflix on Facebook. 

Related stories recommended by this writer:

• Here’s the real story behind Michael Shea, the Queen’s press secretary in The Crown

Introducing the Balmoral Test: How the Royal Family find out if they like someone

• How did Prince Charles and Diana actually meet and how big was their age gap?