Liam Payne’s singing Shorty A Lil Baddie on TikTok and can someone stop him please

In news that will make you desperately uncomfortable, Liam Payne has made a TikTok of him singing Mood Swings. (You know: “Shorty a lil baddie, shorty my lil boo thing, and shorty got the fatty”. That one.) It’s a classic TikTok sound and a fine song in itself, but not when it’s being sung by King of cringe, Liam Payne himself.

The TikTok begins with Liam and YouTuber Jeremy Lynch explaining they wanted to create their own version of “whatever song happened to be top of TikTok recommended”, which, unfortunately for every single person on this Earth, was Mood Swings.

The music starts, with the TikTok showing Liam and Jeremy playing various instruments, clicking their fingers, and, inexplicably, scratching their beards to make some kind of percussion sound.

Every single time I watch the TikTok, I forget how bad it is. Then the music and weird beard-scratching starts, and it makes my entire body tense up. Then they start singing “shorty a lil baddie…”, I feel physically sick and want to rip my ears out of my head.

Here’s the TikTok, so you can see the full horror of Liam Payne for yourself:

A deep-dive into Liam’s TikTok reveals it’s not just this monstrosity of a song, but is mostly full of really, really bad jokes. I guess he is a dad now, but it’s beyond dad jokes – they’re just objectively bad. There’s also a lot of self-promo for his own songs: You have to back yourself, but Liam’s really taken this motto to the extreme.

Unfortunately, every single video is just as toe-curling:

Liam Payne has not one TikTok, but two of him whisper-singing about cookies whilst wearing a full cowboy outfit

He somehow makes the sentence ‘I love eating cookies’ sound deeply sinister and now my skin’s crawling

@liampayneThis is what goes on in my head when making cookies 👨‍🍳🍪 ##dancewithme♬ original sound – liampayne

Whatever … this is

I am so deeply uncomfortable

@liampayneHair fail 😂 ##hairchallenge♬ original sound – liampayne

Here’s Liam coming to the realisation that, as a child, he had no tattoos

@liampayneI mean what can you do but laugh at that? 🤷‍♂️♬ original sound – liampayne

He’s used his own song as the sound for 14 of his videos

@liampayneSkipping has become a game changer this lockdown, give it a go! ##KeepingActive ##Midnight♬ Midnight – Alesso

Related stories recommended by this writer:

• Ranking every disgustingly cringe lyric from Liam Payne’s new album

• Gun fingers, gold chains and topless thirst traps: Can someone check if Liam Payne is okay?

• A look back at the wankiest stuff The 1975’s Matty Healy has ever said