I’ve never seen KUWTK, so I watched the first episode to see what all the fuss is about

2007 Kim walked so 2020 Kim could run

4 years ago

I’ve never watched an episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians. I know who they all are and all their major life events. I’ve seen the memes, but not known the context. It’s hard to escape the Kardashian-Jenner clan in the news and on social media when they are currently some of the most famous people in the world.

But for some reason I’ve never actually sat down and watched a whole episode, so I thought it was about time I should see what one of the most successful reality TV shows ever is all about.

Now I’m not entirely sure what to expect apart from the fact the show was first aired in 2007 so there will be plenty of awful 2000s fashion. Presumably Kim, Kourtney and Khloe will have a fight, Kris will be a good momager and find a questionable job for one of her daughters, and Kendall and Kylie will just run around being cute children.

Let’s start watching:

I immediately notice the fashion: There’s a lot of wide belts, frills, garish prints and bandage dresses. The girls also have very intense blowdries and heavy make-up. I just can’t get over the amount of fake tan in this episode. I have never been more grateful to grow up in the 2010s and avoid such questionable style.

Kim would not be seen dead in this outfit now

Okay so the episode starts off with Kris criticising Kim’s weight which may have been okay in 2007 but it’s not the energy we want in 2020. Also it’s a bit of a random opening to such a massive show if you ask me.

Kim is clearly the star of the show and introduces her family as the “modern day Brady Bunch” but I honestly don’t know who they are. She also compares her family’s baggage to designer bags saying: “It’s like Louis Vuitton baggage, you always want it”. Classic Kim, I think.

The preview clips for the show are full of drama and fighting and I didn’t expect anything less. This is also our first look at young Kendall and Kylie and they are admittedly very cute.

Then we have the intro where the music weirdly reminds me of Wii music. Had the Wii even been invented in 2007? Kim runs in late, setting herself up to be the diva that she is.

The episode itself

So the premise of the show is Kris planning a huge 16th anniversary party. Also, as the good momager that she is, she’s secured a Tyra Banks interview for Kim. But in true Kardashian style, it’s about her sex tape. It seems fitting that KUWTK was literally founded on drama – starting as it means to go on.

He looks about 14

We see Scott! I didn’t realise he was in the series from the start but he looks sooo young. Him and Kourtney obviously have Blackberrys because this was filmed 13 years ago. I wonder if they used BBM?

The three older sisters have a clothing store called Dash. I have so many questions: Is it profitable? So they actually run it or do they just pop in for the show? Why do they have a shop in the first place?

Scott turns up and Kris spies on him and Kourtney through the window because how else would she turn all her children into multimillionaires? She also looks spookily like a mannequin – I didn’t even realise she was there at first.

Back at the house, Kourtney and Kris turn up wasted after wine-tasting turned into shots. Kim struts in late and says: “The princess is in the building”, in a dress she stole from Khloe.

What an outfit

The show takes a surprising turn when Kim reveals she got her parents a stripper pole as a gift – I mean who does that?! She has a go and rips her (Khloe’s) dress, casually showing off her Louboutins (of course!) in the process. Kylie then comes in and has a ready-to-go routine. Did she practice for this?

Kris then tries to get Scott to end his relationship with Kourtney because he’s too young… and also cheating. (Although we later find out Kourtney already knows). He tells Kris: “I will never do anything to disrespect your daughter ever,” which did not age well.

In the next clip Kim’s getting ready for Tyra in a very frilly high neck blouse and wide legged trousers which honestly hurts my eyes. 2020 Kim would never.

After the interview, Kim relaxes the only way she knows how – shopping. Except her shopping is 42 carat $1.2 million diamond rings.

Final thoughts

Obviously they’re mega rich, but I can’t believe how normal they all look. Yeah they’ve got their own reality TV show, but the house is cluttered, they wear fairly average clothes and they aren’t manicured to the nth degree. Nowadays it’s all wigs, impractical clothing and empty minimalist mega mansions.

I can’t get over the interview segments. They’re so intense but at the same time I can’t tell if they’re putting it on or not. Are they really this rich and catty or are they doing it for the camera? Surely no-one refers to themselves as Louis Vuitton baggage in real life?

All in all, it was okay. I would watch the more recent series just because their current lives are insane but I really don’t understand how this show became the legend that it is now based on the first episode. I guess 2007 was a different time but I’m sorry to say that I don’t get the hype about this show.