This is who you grew up to be based on your favourite school pudding

Confetti cake fans are undisputable legends

Evidence suggests childhood experiences have long-lasting emotional and psychological effects. It is also true that the majority of children love sugary foods. Therefore, we concluded it is possible that our childhood pudding choices could impact us for the rest of our lives.

For that reason, we have outlined what our first choice iconic British school pudding may tell us about who we are today. If you want to find out what your future career is going to be, then have a read:

Spotted dick

Due to the fact you enjoyed spotted dick, it’s likely you had no friends at school. A big fat zero. The highlight of your day was probably when another child actually spoke to you, even if it was just to say that you ‘eat spotty willy.’

However, you’re the one laughing now. Thanks to the years of bullying, you’re a fiercely independent individual. If you aren’t already, you’ll definitely be the CEO of a really successful company one day.

Future career: Prime Minister or CEO

Cornflake tart

This was once elite. If people could buy this anywhere right now, they definitely would. But sadly you can’t, because it’s actually a really weird pudding. 

Cornflake tart lovers probably peaked at school. They’re not total freaks now, but they do talk about school A LOT, and how much fun they used to have at GCSE parties. Much like their favourite pudding, they’ll never be thought of as highly as when they were in year 6.

Future career: Teacher

Jelly and ice cream

No one knows where they are now. You should probably try and check on your jelly loving friends.

Future career: Fuck knows.

Bread and butter pudding

Takes themselves far too seriously. Probably goes to Durham or St Andrews where they’re the head of a really boring society, like the modern foreign languages society. They’ll graduate with a first in something really impressive however they’ll have no friends and no fun memories of uni.

Everything they do in life is for their CV.

Future career: Leader of the Conservative Party

Confetti cake

An absolute legend. Fun then, and still fun now. Probably goes to Manchester, Leeds or Newcastle and is a massive BNOC. When they were at school they were the kid who always managed to convince the lunch ladies to give them an extra slice of this wondrous pudding.

Future career: A fun startup in London


Posh. The crumble that you enjoyed was probably made with apples from the school orchard at your Hogwarts-esque boarding school. You’re now at Oxbridge studying History of Art and you still enjoy the occasional crumble in your college. Your family breeds black labradors and fast-forwarded through the sexy scenes in Normal People.

Future career: Owner of many, many homes

Rice pudding, or worse, semolina

The first word that springs to mind is cretin. I’m sorry but I’d rather eat cat sick than a bowl of semolina with some cheap strawberry jam plopped on top to try and mask the rancid taste. You probably get text message reminders from your mum every two weeks to wash your bed sheets and I bet you have a stash of rice pudding under your bed just in case COVID-19 takes on a human form and takes over the world.

Future career: Conspiracy theorist

Jam and coconut sponge

You, like your favourite pudding, are basic. I’m sorry, but throwing some desiccated coconut on top of something doesn’t make it exciting. You probably post more than 5 times a day on Instagram and on all your dating apps you’ve claimed to be ‘completely obsessed’ with some obscure song (which you found by google searching cool unknown songs).

Future career: PR

Syrup sponge/ sticky toffee pudding

Off the scale popular. Always the life of the party. Seems to be on a night out every day of the week and yet is still doing better than you at their degree. Do these people ever sleep? I’m genuinely curious.

Future career: Celebrity

Bananas and custard

You’re a vegan. Probably gluten-free too. And I bet you still eat this sometimes. 

Future career: Owner of an iced tea business

Eton Mess

You’re just not as posh as the crumble fans, but that won’t stop you from trying. You go to somewhere like Brookes or Edinburgh and still claim that you could have got into Oxbridge, you just didn’t apply because ‘there’s no time for fun’ (everyone knows you wouldn’t have got in by the way). You also have a pony, which you never actually ride.

Future career: Pushy parent

Pineapple upside-down cake

Mum of the group and all-round good person. You’re the type of person who’ll always hold back their mate’s hair after they’ve taken it a bit far on a night out. You’d also never dream of leaving your washing up to ‘soak’. A genuinely good egg.

Future career: Psychotherapist

Chocolate cake with chocolate custard

You were a weirdo then, and you’re still a weirdo now. At my school, the people that ate this used to mash the cake into the custard to make a poo-brown paste. Which they actually ate. The thought of that still makes me want to vomit. What the actual fuck. You cannot sit with me.

Future career: Dog food taster

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