Okay, but which Britney Spears song is your uni?
Oops! We’ve done it again
There are few certain things in life: Night will always follow day, leaves fall from the trees in autumn, and Britney Spears is and always will be the best thing to ever happen in music ever.
Now, we often like to say which thing your uni would be. We do it so often you might say some sort of Stockholm Syndrome for it, but we have never asked which Britney Spears song best befits the higher educations in this country and for that we can only say we are sorry, both to you who have gone so long without this information, and to Britney herself, for the disrespect. But we’ve done it now, and without wasting any more time let’s get into it:
Work Bitch – Oxbridge
Because literally, you gotta work bitch.
Break the Ice – Durham
Freshers at their first pre-drinks at Durham can only break the ice by asking what Oxbridge college they were rejected from and what they got in their A-levels.
I’m Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman – York
Everyone at York is a lil baby, still coming of age and not really sure what they want in life. Britney not being sure of if she’s a girl or a woman really speaks to you on an emotional level.
Outrageous – QUB
Have you been to the Holylands? Have you been on a night out in Belfast? It is, quite frankly, outrageous.
Oops! I Did It Again – Southampton
Jesters, Manzils, quad vods, Switch – it’s just a vicious cycle which leaves every Soton student saying “oops, I did it again” when they reflect on their heavy week just gone.
Everytime – Glasgow
Look, we struggled to connect Glasgow to a Britney song. Lacking in any type of personality, for some reason we thought we’d generously give you this Britney classic. Our thought process is Glasgow will never be as good as St Andrews or Edinburgh, so when you say “notice me” and proclaim “every time I try to fly, I fall”, no one listens because no one cares.
Born to Make You Happy – Birmingham
Birmingham Uni students are people pleasers, just like Britney is in this iconic but underrated bop. They mostly went so their parents could talk proudly about how their offspring went to a red-brick.
Womanizer – Leeds
Lots of fuckboys here roaming about Headingley and Hyde Park about to make your life a living hell.
I Wanna Go – Lincoln
I wanna go and get the hell out of Lincoln. But also, I wanna go to that lovely cathedral.
Stronger – Loughborough
You literally get stronger every single day, none stop in the gym.
If U Seek Amy – Coventry
There’s not much to do at Coventry other than the absolute bare basics of university life: going out and shagging – basically the lyrics of If U Seek Amy.
… Make Me – Lancaster
Excuse me? Make me what? What even is this song? Well let me tell you about this wholly underrated piece of music from Ms Spears: It’s a total jam. A bit like how Lancaster is unexpectedly always somewhere near the top of the uni league tables, so too is this song an underrated classic.
Toxic – Exeter
A university made up of white middle class private school kids, with an unhealthy obsession with Pret, Fiat 500s (still!) and the Tory party? It could literally only be one thing.
Overprotected – Newcastle
Newcastle students really have the sweet life: they’re all beautiful, have probably dated someone who’s connected to the Royal Family, and have a housemate with an official title like the Earl of or Duke of somewhere grand sounding. Life is care free and easy, life is Bar Blanc and the rest of the Osborne Road. Life is a little bubble where you shop at Waitrose and don’t think twice about spending £100 on a bag for a big night at Swingers.
But then in a moment of madness you’ll realise how lucky you’ve been. “What am I to do with my life?” You’ll think for one second in the Swingers toilets searching for something meaningful, “my life has been so overprotected” you’ll proclaim. But five mins later you’re over this train of thought, texting mummy asking if she can transfer £200 to cover rent this week.
Circus – Warwick
There’s only two types of people in the world: the ones that entertain and the ones that went to Warwick, which is the least fun uni in the entire world. Not only that, but Warwick students set up a literal circus when they play drinking games (it’s very organised fun vibes) – they even call it circling.
Piece Of Me – Liverpool
Students who call Smithdown Lane home are always up for a bit of a scrap and probably would unironically utter these words on a night out. Also you know that scene where Brit and all her gal pals are in the club toilet together? Big Liverpool energy right there.
Gimme More – Manchester
Pretty much every Manchester afters looks like the video to this song. Gimme more (ketamine) amirite?
… Baby One More Time – Aberdeen
“My loneliness is killing me” is a sentient every Aberdeen student will identify with. Stuck up there in the absolute arse end of the country shivering in the cold 11 months out of 12. “I must confess, I still believe” they sing, “that one day my mum will come and get me.”
Boys – Royal Holloway
There’s this weird phenomenon at Royal Holloway where the girls who attend are 10/10 model stunning wow and the boys are… not? But RHUL ladies make do – “boys. Can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em.”
Till the World Ends – Nottingham
I once went out in Crisis in Nottingham and the expectation was that we would be out until 5am whether I liked it or not. Turns out the club was shutting at 3am (a sensible time) but the crowd still sat on the floor for another hour chanting “we’re not leaving” and if that does not capture this energy of this song I don’t know what does.
Scream and Shout – Cardiff
All Cardiff students do is scream and shout in the SU, and that is literally all the memories they will take away from studying there.
Lucky – Edinburgh
The protagonist of this seminal Britney tune is a princess-cum-popstar who quite frankly feels a little too sorry for herself living the high life. Edi students are similarly very glamorous but a little lacking in the self-awareness department.
Pretty Girls – London
In this song, Britney and Iggy display unparalleled bratty energy, swanning about spraying her money everywhere. This is how King’s and UCL students live.
My Prerogative – UEA
When your parents and friends ask you why the hell you decided to trek all the way to Norwich for uni your only response is, like Britney in My Prerogative: “You can’t tell me what to do.”
Bristol – Hold It Against Me
Hold it Against Me matched Bristol in many ways. Firstly, it’s built around a double-entendre that thinks it’s cleverer than it is and Bristol students think they’re cleverer than they are. The video features Britney spraying paint all over a white dress and it’s meant to be super arty and deep, it’s like a Bris art project on steroids. And if there’s one thing Bristol students don’t want you to hold against them, it’s their impossibly privileged background.
Sometimes – Bournemouth
Picture the scene: Two Bournemouth students across the pier from each other. “Sometimes I run” says one. “Sometimes I hide” says the other. They then break out into the stunning love song that is “Sometimes” as the sun goes down over Bournemouth beach. Gorgeous.
I’m a Slave 4 U – Sussex
When Britney dropped this and started performing it with a snake on her shoulders people in 2003 were not ready for it. On a weeknight uni night out with Sussex students it would be regarded as quite a tame look – snake included.
Radar – St Andrews
Not only is St Andrews literally off the Radar of many applicants due to being in the middle of actual nowhere, the video (which shows Brit swanning about a polo game) is the most St Andrews inspired visual she’s been a part of.
I Love Rock N Roll – Sheffield
We get it, Sheff students are a lil bit alternative and love indie and rock music at underground bars. Putting another dime in the jukebox isn’t even a foreign phrase to Sheff students, it’s just another Wednesday night out.