A considered ranking of the best songs from Netflix’s Eurovision: The Story of Fire Saga

You know where this is going

If you didn’t enjoy Netflix’s latest film about Eurovision, stop reading here. That’s right, close down whatever device you’re reading this on right now, for this page is exclusively a safe zone for people that saw this film for what it was – a masterpiece of modern film.

I mean, how fucking good was the music?! We honestly didn’t deserve to be flexed on so hard by Rachel McAdam (or whoever sang on her behalf). Pretty much every other song was a solid gold BANGER, and that doesn’t happen often (I’m looking at you, half-cooked Pitch Perfect rendition of Party in the USA). However, although there are indeed so many good songs, only one must prevail. We’ve collated every single song from the film and I’m proud to say that, after many hours of deliberation, the judges have held up their score cards. Let’s goooo:

14. Coolin’ with Da Homies

This is literally that nerdy kid performing in the talent show in Mean Girls. Nope nope nope.

13. Happy

Nobody likes a cover in a film like this (unless it’s the song-along – we’ll get onto that) and especially one that is burnt into our ears from a painful period of time where nothing else was played on the radio.

12. Lion of Love

Marmite tune with a marmite bloke.

It’s confusing what this guy’s deal is – is he being predatory towards Sigrit? Or is he trying to sabotage her chances in the competition? Both? Why does he own a HUGE mansion in Edinburgh? Either way, it all just goes rather unexplained, and this tune is just as confusing. Not a fan.

11. Hit My Itch

There are multiple adjectives to summarise this song, but it probably comes down to just one – “unremarkable”.

10. Come and Play

Well, (puts on grade eight musician hat) the constant running up and down of chromatics in this tune is somewhat complex as a musical motif, so it’s undeniable that there’s some talent behind this song, but it just ends up seeming too repetitive – especially when there are four notable key changes to cycle through.

Yup, this song sounds pretty typical of Eurovision, but the melody isn’t linear and dumbed down enough for the poppish silliness that we NEED from the film. Oh, and it’s just not that enjoyable to listen to.

9. Fool Moon

Things are looking up, but this is an average place on the list for a song that sounds sufficiently like something you’d hear playing in Urban Outfitters. Basically, it’s all just a bit bland.

8. Running with the Wolves

A cutting cross over between the perfectly autotuned voice of the lady and the hoarse rock vocals of the Lordi-esque monster, this is 42 seconds of average. Not massively offensive to the ears, and some nice harmonising in the bridge, but not fantastic.

7. Jaja Ding Dong

Aside from the opening verses having a very similar chord progression to Kelly Clarkson’s My Life Would Suck Without You (just me that noticed that? Okay), this was a bit of a banger, so it was no surprise that it was a repeat request in the little dive bar where they performed.

6. Volcano Man

The nasal utterances that comprise Will Ferrel’s contribution to the start of this song combined with the fact that nobody needed to see his mouth up so close drop this one some marks, but it’s still quite fantastic.

From the dress sense to the panning shots and peculiar europian-isms, if any song was to sum up the unexplainable weirdness of Eurovision, this would be in with a shot.

5. Double Trouble

The plucky strings and reverb at the start are quite simply Eurovision EAT YOUR HEART OUT. The chord progression is clearly very European techno-inspired, and it’s a great listen.

4. Amar pelos dois

This song is quite simply beautiful. Didn’t it just set the perfect soundtrack to Sigrit and Lars gallivanting around Edinburgh on segways? Okay it didn’t make much sense as a busking performance (especially in cold Scotland), and it sticks out like a sore thumb compared to the rest of the songs on this list, but it is objectively better as a piece of music than anything above it.

3. The Song-Along

There is no way that the Song-Along couldn’t be in the top three.

This was enough to make the most cynical of people unashamedly me grin like a Cheshire cat – I mean, the Pitch Perfect energy in that room was TOO DAMN HIGH. The way it was shot, the cheesiness, the delightful little cameos from various Eurovision stars from the past. This was not far off perfection.

2. In The Mirror

This is a legit song. Like, Demi should perform this at her shows from now on, because it is really good.

The lyrics are a bit contrived (was that her call or was it fitting with the film, who knows?) but the vocals are spectacular, and it’s the only song on this list that could probably be played on the radio without people thinking it was weird. One to add to the guilty pleasures playlist for sure.

1. Husavik

This reeks of The Greatest Showman. REEKS. And that is why it’s NUMBER ONE!!!

What is there not to like? It’s patriotic, it doesn’t have much Will Ferrel singing in it, and it’s genuinely a really well-written song. I hereby challenge anyone to watch this scene in the film and not get huge goosebumps.

Related stories recommended by this writer:

• 17 thoughts I had watching Netflix’s bizarre Eurovision movie, The Story of Fire Saga

• Who is actually singing all the songs in the Netflix Eurovision film? An investigation

• Only a true Eurovision superfan could score 10/16 on this impossibly hard quiz