Every time Massimo from 365 Days was the most problematic love interest EVER

This man is a KIDNAPPER (but he’s fit)

4 years ago

Last week Netflix added the Polish film 365 Days to its roster and it quickly shot up to the number one most watched spot. It’s raunchy, it’s high budget, it’s… the worst thing you’ll ever watch. For like, a multitude of reasons. You even have to look past how problematic the premise is while you’re watching just so that you can just revel in how straight up STUPID the plot gets. But we’ve been there, done that, picked that apart – and I’ve stressed for too long over Laura’s sudden “death” and awful blonde wig. Now we explore the true villain of this film, beyond the acting and the writing, one man triumphs: Massimo Torricelli.

He is beyond problematic. This man makes Christian Grey look like a simp. It’s a wonder that we can go from the original Netflix heartthrob and ultimate soft boy Noah Centineo to idealising a mafia boss and kidnapper who plans to kill his chef after he makes sub-par Pierogi. There were moments in the film I had to remind myself that thank GOD it’s got an 18 age restriction because that behaviour ain’t something for 15 year olds to internalise, no sir. Teenage me would have had a field day and definitely tried to track down my own Massimo to imprison me… see? See how that’s wrong? Because it deffo ain’t right.

For all of those reasons and more, here’s why Massimo Torricelli is the most problematic love interest to ever exist.

1. Right we should probably mention the whole kidnapping thing

The premise is fucked up, simple as that. Before he’s even on screen he’s a bad man. No love story can or should begin with kidnapping, and imprisoning a woman to get her to fall in love with you is NEVER going to be okay. He literally sedates her!!!

Then he drops the whole 365 days thing and tries to seem oh so respectable and romantic. Maybe Massimo thinks that by “allowing her” to fall in love with him over that time he has scored himself a nice moral loop hole, but that’s like patting a man on the back for not raping someone. The bar is so low that it’s literally in hell.

2. Also can we talk about the reason why he kidnapped her

When his dad died he saw Laura in a dream. IN A DREAM. Then decided to love her for the rest of his life. He also knew nothing about her other than her face and yet waited five years for her, just sitting and twiddling his thumbs until he saw her again at the airport. Did he even try a cheeky Facebook search? This man has clearly never spent a whole evening trying to track down someone’s ex online with nothing but a vague description in mind. He should have called me, I could have helped.

2. He routinely grabs Low-ra by her throat

The man is all like “I won’t do anything you don’t want me to” *THROTTLES HER AGAINST A WALL*. “Laura your dress is too short” *GRABS HER THROAT* “Low-ra I’m in love with you” *CHOKE HOLD* It’s a bit much, to be honest.

3. And treats her like a rag doll

Dragging Laura around by her wrists is really not a vibe even if you’re taking her on an all expenses paid shopping spree. I don’t wanna speak on behalf of all women, but we generally tend to enjoy our shopping trips more when we’re not being restrained.

4. He says some… questionable stuff

“Don’t provoke me, I’m not used to being gentle” sounds awful rapey to me. And “Sometimes fighting is futile, you have to accept the situation”. Yeesh. Also: “If you felt like running you should have worn different shoes”. Plus when he walks in on her in her underwear he says “I’m paying for it, I decide when I get to see it” when she tells him to get out. This film should honestly be a lesson in how NOT to write a male love interest, and yet here we are. Also he threatens to kill her at one point. Not a vibe.

5. He clearly never got the memo that boys who force girls’ heads down during blowjobs are naaasty

Why does he do this so much! Just let the woman do her work! Stop aggressively head fucking every single girl until you come – it’s not very becoming, Massimo!

6. He chains Laura to a bed when she’s been pretty vocal about not wanting to have sex with him

Then forces her to watch him get off as another woman sucks his dick… something about that is illegal I’m sure. Also that telescopic restraint fucked me up. Imagine every time you struggle your coochie gets more and more on display. Nightmare.

7. The man is SO CRINGEY

Set aside for a second the kidnapping, and the fact that this mafia man with much more important things to do spent five years of his life in love with a woman he SAW IN A DREAM, Massimo is just straight up cringe on so many occasions. “Are you lost baby girl?” is the biggest sin.

8. He restrains her on a flight and then fingers her without consent

Not cool at all. Netflix come on now.

At least the belts match her outfit

9. He has a load of massive pictures of Laura and HIMSELF in his home

Massive pic of Low-ra we can expect. The man’s insane and obsessed enough to kidnap a woman he saw in a dream, so that’s on brand. But HIMSELF. He literally has a larger than life picture of him next to a lion. Come on man. That’s like the ultimate bedroom decor No No. Even worse than a Pulp Fiction poster.

Embarrassing

10. He lets Low-ra wear THIS to a wedding

Look if you’re gonna aggressively control what your captive girlfriend does at least make sure she’s not making severe fashion mistakes like this. That’s just mean.