Wetherspoons has announced plans for how it’ll reopen with social distancing

Spoons has announced a host of drastic changes it’ll implement to make its pubs safe when they reopen, including getting rid of sauce bottles and operating with a reduced menu.

After having to walk back the suggestion it’d open pubs early, pub giant JD Wetherspoon is now emphasising that pubs will only reopen “when it has the official go-ahead from the relevant governments.” Of course, we don’t know when that will be.

In the meantime, all we’ve got is this crazy Spoons someone made on Animal Crossing.

Despite the changes, pubs will stick to their usual opening hours when they reopen – meaning you could be at the pub until 1am on weekends.

A reduced food menu will be in place, and food will be delivered to the table. Customers will be encouraged to use the Spoons app or pay by card, but cash will be accepted.

The iconic and unlimited bottles of sauce will fall victim to social distancing, replaced instead with sachets.

At the bar, staff will hand glasses over by holding the base, and will be separated from customers by a screen at the till point.

You and the homies, but only if you’re from the same household

Tables will be moved two metres apart, but screens will be erected between tables which cannot be separated enough. This raises the tantalising prospect of an eight-pint perspex hall of mirrors.

Entry and exit will be restricted to make sure social distancing is maintained.  Dedicated staff will monitor the pub to make sure people are staying apart, separate entry and exit doors will be used, and door staff will be in place at peak times.

On average, ten hand sanitiser dispensers will be in each pub – no word if it’s the weird foamy soap in the toilets – and there will be a dedicated member of staff sanitising all doors, hand rails, and card machines.

For staff, Spoons will provide masks, gloves and eyewear. Before each shift, staff will take a health questionnaire and have their temperature taken.

Although this will all result in a vastly different pub experience, it will crucially still be a pub experience. I think I will probably cry when I drink my first pub pint.

Related stories recommended by this writer:

• I ranked every Spoons drink by value for alcohol to save you money

• Someone made a Spoons in Animal Crossing so we went to visit, naturally

• We tried the Wetherspoon’s Loop: The ultimate British drinking challenge