69 lyrics from your favourite childhood songs that you didn’t know were wildly inappropriate
Why were these played at my year six disco?!
It’s the year 2007, it’s a Friday. You’re on your way home from school and you haven’t a care in the world. The sun is shining, the windows are down and your top button is undone. Just as you thought life couldn’t get any better, the radio plays your favourite tune. “Mum,” you shout, “turn it up”.
And there you went, belting the lyrics “Oh I lie here in the wet patch, in the middle of the bed, I’m feeling pretty damn hard done by, I spent ages giving head”. Every lyric off by heart, screaming them out to your heart’s content. Woah hang on, what did you just shout? Who spent ages giving head, sorry? It certainly wasn’t my 11 year old self.
We all thought it was just harmless fun. But you thought wrong my friend. Have you ever actually taken the time to listen to what you were saying? Now that we’re older and wiser it’s time to take a look back on what can only be described as utter filth.
Boy was I naive, and I’m sure you were too.
1. Whistle – Flo Rida
Most questionable lyric: “Girl I’m gonna show you how to do it, and we start real slow, you just put your lips together, and you come real close, can you blow my whistle baby”
Not quite sure why we ever thought that one was okay tbh. Innocent old us just thought it was about whistles, but how wrong we were.
2. Not Fair – Lily Allen
Most questionable lyric: “Oh I lie here in the wet patch, in the middle of the bed, I’m feeling pretty damn hard done by, I spent ages giving head”
It’s not even kind of subtle.
3. Candy Shop – 50 Cent
Most questionable lyric: “I’ll take you to the candy shop, I’ll let you lick the lollipop, go ‘head girl don’t you stop, keep going ’til you hit the spot”
The whole song isn’t great let’s be honest. Didn’t stop you though did it?
4. Right Round – Flo Rida
Most questionable lyric: “You spin my head right round, right round, when you go down, when you go down down”
What else did we expect from a man who’s rapper name is literally Florida?
5. Live While We’re Young – One Direction
Most questionable lyric: “Tonight let’s get some and live while we’re young”
It might shock you to see the 1D boys in here. But oh no, they fooled you too.
6. It Wasn’t Me – Shaggy
Most questionable lyric: “Picture this we were both butt naked, banging on the bathroom floor”
The most questionable lyric here is the whole song. The worst part is it came out when you were about two years old but that STILL didn’t stop you learning all the words 10 years later. Father, repent me of my sins.
7. Shut Up And Drive – Rihanna
Most questionable lyric: “Can you handle the curves, can you run all the lights, if you can, baby boy, then we can go all night”
Call me crazy, but I genuinely just thought this song was about a car.
8. Foundations – Kate Nash
Most questionable lyric: “Your face is pasty, ’cause you’ve gone and got so wasted”
Wow. Here’s me singing about my imaginary boyfriend and turns out I was singing about being drunk. Nice.
9. Work it – Missy Elliot
Most questionable lyric: “I’d like to get to know ya, so I could show ya, put the pussy on ya, like I told ya”
10. S&M – Rihanna
Most questionable lyric: “Sex in the air, I don’t care, I love the smell of it, sticks and stones may break my bones, but chains and whips excite me”
Cute how we were all singing this long before we knew what S&M was.
11. Don’t Cha – Pussycat Dolls
Most questionable lyric: “Seems like shorty wanna little menage-a-pop off or somethin, let’s go”
I believe that’s Busta Rhymes there scarring me for life. Cheers, son’s crying.
12. Milkshake – Kelis
Most questionable lyric: “My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard”
It’s a metaphor, but the meaning is clear as day. Spoiler alert: it’s not about a drink.
13. Genie In A Bottle – Christina Aguilera
Most questionable lyric: “I’m a genie in a bottle, you gotta rub me the right way”
Christina again hitting us with the metaphors. I see right through you hun.
14. Rude Boy – Rihanna
Most questionable lyric: “Come here rude boy, boy, can you get it up”
That’s the last time I trust Rihanna to have clean lyrics.
15. Bedrock – Young Money
Most questionable lyric: “My room is the G-spot, call me Mr. Flintstone, I can make your bed rock”
The song is literally called Bedrock. BED. ROCK. I give up.
16. Kiss Me Thru The Phone – Soulja Boy
Most questionable lyric: “Baby you know that I miss you, I wanna get with you tonight but I cannot baby girl”
Why was this played at my year six disco? Beginning to question my childhood.
17. Ride Wit Me – Nelly
Most questionable lyric: “If you want to go and get high with me, smoke a L in the back of the Benz-E”
Oh so we’ve moved on from sex and now on to drugs. Nice.
18. Pony – Ginuwine
Most questionable lyric: “If you’re horny let’s do it, ride it, my pony, my saddle’s waiting, come and jump on it”
This bad boy had a resurgence from the classic film franchise Magic Mike, but even so, do kids know what they’re singing about in the playground? I think not.
19. Peacock – Katy Perry
Most questionable lyric: “Are you brave enough to let me see your peacock?”
Again the whole song is just unbearably cringe, sorry to whoever had to hear me sing that.
20. Where Them Girls At – David Guetta feat Nicki Minaj, Flo Rida
Most questionable lyric: “Cause I can do it, you can suck on a ballsack”
This still bangs nowadays, but it has a deceptively PG rating, until you get to Nikki’s verse of course.
21. Candyman – Christina Aguilera
Most questionable lyric: “He’s a one stop shop, makes the panties drop”
Genuinely thought this song was about sweets.
22. Yeah! – Usher
Most questionable lyric: “Conversation got heavy, she had me feeling like she’s ready to blow”
Notable mention goes to, “Next thing I knew, she was all up on me screaming, yeah”.
23. Ayo – Chris Brown, Tyga
Most questionable lyric: “I’ma take her ass down if she bring her friend around, fuck ’em both like ayo”
I feel used
24. Barbie Girl – Aqua
Most questionable lyric: “Kiss me here, touch me there, hanky panky”
Hanky panky? No thanky. I wasn’t even born yet and already I’m sentenced to a life of filth. About Barbie as well?! Betrayal of the finest form.
25. Hey Porsche – Nelly
Most questionable lyric: “You sexy thing, you turn me on, I need a private show”
Now that I listen back, the whole song is wildly inappropriate. Thanks a lot Nelly.
26. Get The Party Started – P!nk
Most questionable lyric: “I’m comin’ up so you better you better get this party started”
Is that the drugs thou speaks of? Forbidden!! I honestly think I used to picture P!nk coming up the stairs, not reaching peak gurn.
27. Sweat – Snoop Dogg vs David Guetta
Most questionable lyric: “We can take a trip down south, I can tell she’s thirsty”
Again, notable mention goes to: “Drip drip drip for me mommy can you drip drip drip”. If I ever sang this to you mum, I’m sorry.
28. Side To Side – Ariana Grande feat Nicki Minaj
Most questionable lyric: “And boy, got me walkin’ side to side”
Okay yes it came out in 2016, and yes I was 18 years old. But there’s 12 year olds at Ariana’s concerts screaming this at the top of their lungs!!! It’s about not being able to walk after sex, and quite frankly I’m feeling weak at the knees at the thought of an 11 year old choosing this song at karaoke. Heaven help us all.
29. Cake By The Ocean – DNCE
Most questionable lyric: “See you licking frosting from your own hands, want another taste, I’m begging, yes ma’am”
Okay so this was also 2015. But we asked for a comeback from the Jonas Brothers, and this is what we got. One of them, singing falsetto, and it’s all about sex. Great. Where oh where have the Camp Rock days gone huh???
30. Locked Out Of Heaven – Bruno Mars
Most questionable lyric: “Yeah your sex takes me to paradise”
I can actually see myself shouting this Bruno, Bruno, Bruno. That is quite enough.
31. Oops I Did It Again – Britney Spears
Most questionable lyric: “You think I’m in love, that I’m sent from above, I’m not that innocent”
Did what again Britney? Actually, forget it, I don’t even want to know.
32. 2 Become 1 – The Spice Girls
Most questionable lyric: “I need some love like I never needed love before (wanna make love to ya baby)”
Everyone loves a bit of 90s nostalgia from The Spice Girls, but it’s just not great when you’ve learnt all the words and you’re singing it when you’re 11 is it x
33. Birthday Cake – Rihanna
Most questionable lyric: “It’s not even my birthday, but he want to lick the icing off”
More Rihanna. Are you surprised?
34. Crazy In Love – Beyoncé
Most questionable lyric: “I touch on you more and more every time”
Queen B, wow. I wouldn’t go as far as horrified. But I’m well on the way.
35. Sexy Back – Justin Timberlake
Most questionable lyric: “I’m your slave, I’ll let you whip me if I misbehave”
Imagine belting this out in the car with your mum.
36. Timber – Pitbull feat Ke$ha
Most questionable lyric: “Twerking in their bras and thongs, timber, face down, booty up, timber”
It was the modern day country bop, turned dirty. I’d say I was surprised by Pitbull, but I’d be lying.
37. I Like To Move It – Reel 2 Real feat The Mad Stuntman
Most questionable lyric: “Gonna move it nice and sweet, and sexy, alright?”
1993?! Did we even have the internet then? I have no idea what possessed me to sing it all the time but I blame Madagascar. Thanks a lot King Julian.
38. Tik Tok – Ke$ha feat Pitbull
Most questionable lyric: “I’m talkin’ ’bout everybody gettin’ crunk, crunk, boys try to touch my junk, junk”
PSA: pretty sure I thought junk meant rubbish.
39. My Humps – The Black Eyed Peas
Most questionable lyric: “I’ma get get get get you drunk, get you love drunk off my hump”
I am in genuine shock this was ever played at the school discos.
40. Loyal – Chris Brown
Most questionable lyric: “Why give a bitch your inch, when she rather have nine?”
“These hoes ain’t loyal”. How did my own mother look me in the eye? It’s a bop. But for all the wrong reasons.
41. Maneater – Nelly Furtado
Most questionable lyric: “She’s a maneater, make you buy cars make you cut cards”
Nelly, teaching us the correct morals from a young age.
42. In The Morning – Razorlight
Most questionable lyric: “But then last night was so much fun, and now your sheets are dirty”
Now you wouldn’t expect this from Razorlight, and alas, here we are.
43. Buttons – The Pussycat Dolls feat Snoop Dogg
Most questionable lyric: “I’m telling you loosen up my buttons, baby (uh huh), but you keep fronting (uh), saying what you going to do to me (uh huh), but I ain’t seen nothing (uh)”
Shield your eyes! Block your ears!
44. Hollaback Girl – Gwen Stefani
Most questionable lyric: “This my shit, this my shit, this my shit, this my shit”
Now this is just funny, not even angry.
45. Right Now – Akon
Most questionable lyric: “One that would grind with me, one that would grind with me”
Yeah no thanks Akon.
46. Get Busy – Sean Paul
Most questionable lyric: “Girl get busy, just shake that booty non-stop, when the beat drops”
Oh Sean, you saucy thing.
47. Everytime We Touch – Cascada
Most questionable lyric: “Cause every time we touch, I get this feeling, and every time we kiss I swear I could fly”
Honestly won’t stop me going for it in the club.
48. Smack That – Akon feat Eminem
Most questionable lyric: “Smack that, all on the floor, smack that, give me some more”
Smack. That. Just take that in. Did I really sing that as an innocent youth?
49. Get Low – Lil Jon & The East Side Boyz
Most questionable lyric: “To the window, to the wall, to the sweat drop down my balls, to all you bitches, crawl, to all skee skee, motherfucker”
I shall not be getting low any time soon ever again thank you.
50. I Wanna Have Your Babies – Natasha Beddingfield
Most questionable lyric: “I wanna have your babies, I see ’em springing up like daisies”
It had an obvious meaning from the get-go, and still I feel deceived?
51. Thong Song – Sisqo
Most questionable lyric: “She had dumps like a truck, truck, truck, thighs like what, what, what”
“That thong thong thong thong thong”?! Why was this ever popular!!!
52. Starstruckk – 3OH!3
Most questionable lyric: “Tight jeans, double D’s makin’ me go (whistles)”
I think it’s the whistling in the song which makes it 100x worse. Also shoutout to the worst band name ever.
53. Give It To Me – Timberland feat Nelly Furtado, Justin Timberlake
Most questionable lyric: “Wanna see you work your body, so give it to me, give it to me, give it to me”
Don’t give it to them. Ever.
54. Love Sex Magic – Ciara feat Justin Timberlake
Most questionable lyric: “And I’ll be flowing and going, till clothing disappears, ain’t nothing but shoes on me, oh, baby”
Not even going to front that this is an absolute tune and I will play it for my kids as soon as they’re out the womb.
55. My Neck, My Back – Khia
Most questionable lyric: “Suck this pussy just like you should, my neck, my back, lick my pussy and my crack”
56. Love In This Club – Usher
Most questionable lyric: “Well come here baby, and let daddy show, you what it feel like”
Usher. Please. That is quite enough out of you, the word ‘daddy’ has been tainted for life now.
57. Young Wild And Free – Wiz Khalifa
Most questionable lyric: “So what we get drunk, so what we smoke weed, we’re just having fun, we don’t care who sees”
Also: “Give me some 501’s jeans on and roll joints bigger than King Kong’s fingers”. Just going to leave that there.
58. I Just Had Sex – The Lonely Island feat Akon
Most questionable lyric: “Man my penis felt great, and I called my parents right after I was done”
The clue’s in the title, we should’ve seen it coming. Catchy though?
59. Sugar – Flo Rida
Most questionable lyric: “This candy got you sprung, this candy got you sprung”
More songs about sweet treats? I’m sensing a pattern with these early noughties rappers.
60. If You Seek Amy – Britney Spears
Most questionable lyric: “But all of the boys and all of the girls, are begging to if you seek Amy”
If you seek Amy. F-U-C-K me? Okay, tbf it’s actually quite clever, but I’m not sure my 10 year old self ever actually put two and two together.
61. Sexy Bitch – David Guetta feat Akon
Most questionable lyric: “Nothing you can compare to your neighborhood whore”
Remember when Akon was trying to find the words to describe this girl without being disrespectful and he decided on sexy bitch? Yeah, good times.
62. Down – Jay Sean feat Lil Wayne
Most questionable lyric: “Just let it be, come on and bring your body next to me, I’ll take you away, hey, turn this place into our private getaway”
It was Lil Wayne, it was to be expected.
63. Who’s That Chick? – David Guetta feat Rihanna
Most questionable lyric: “Ultra sexual the night has got me love sprung, I won’t stop until the sun is up oh, yeah”
100 per cent wished I was ‘that chick’ back in the day. And now look at me, crying into a pillow with shame.
64. Jesus Walks – Kanye West
Most questionable lyric: “A trunk full of coke rental car from Avis”
OG Kanye, it’s something to behold. I thought this song was about bringing me closer to God?! Can confirm I feel distant.
65. Frisky – Tinie Tempah feat Labrinth
Most questionable lyric: “If I tell her I’m a boxer, would she let me down her knickers”
Oh now that’s just naughty.
66. The Lazy Song – Bruno Mars
Most questionable lyric: “Meet a really nice girl have some really nice sex, and she’s gonna scream out this is great”
Cheeky old Bruno strikes again!
67. Mama Do The Hump – Rizzle Kicks
Most questionable lyric: “How I’ve got this much energy is beyond me, I just want all of these girls to be on me”
Mama. Do. The. Hump. Seriously?
68. That’s What I Go To School For – Busted
Most questionable lyric: “I climb a tree outside her home, to make sure that she’s alone, I see her in her underwear, I can’t help but stop and stare”
Omg that is NOT what I go to school for, it is a place of LEARNING.
69. Anaconda – Nicki Minaj
Most questionable lyric: “My anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns, hun”
How could I not end on this? Iconic.