This is how to tell if you have a half-boyfriend

They’re kind of my boyfriend but kind of not

4 years ago

Does this sound familiar? There’s a guy you were seeing, you were exclusive, but you never quite became 100 per cent official. If he gets back in contact with you, you don’t know whether to text the group chat that your “ex” or a “guy you used to sleep with” has messaged you. It’s so confusing. Your relationship with this person was always tricky to define, calling them your “ex” is a bit too much cause they were never your actual boyfriend, but a “several night stand” isn’t giving the relationship enough credit.

So what were you? Well that was your half-boyfriend. Or a “semi” as some people call it. But that just sounds cringe so we’re going with half-boyfriend.

So if you’ve ever been exclusive, sleeping together, going on dates but never putting that official label of boyfriend and girlfriend on it, then this applies to you.

This is how to tell if you’ve got a half-boyfriend:

Their parents know about you, but there are no intentions of meeting

A classic half relationship stage is where both of your parents are aware you’re seeing someone and in good cases they know your name. However there is no chance of actually meeting them. If either of your parents come up for a visit, your half partner is officially not to be seen.

You go on actual dates

This is not a several night stand or a fuckbuddy. You guys spend just as much time in your bedroom as you do outside. Going for coffee, shopping, walks, drinks, cinema, art galleries, you guys do it all. You have a connection and have stuff to talk about. You genuinely like spending time with this person when they have their clothes on.

You might be featured on Insta stories, but never a full on the main grid

The true marker of an official relationship, is being featured on their Instagram main grid. However with your half-boyfriend all you’re getting is a slightly blurry night out picture on the Insta story. He probably won’t tag you and the picture is probably a group shot, but you’ll re-watch the story at least 15 times as proof of your relationship.

You’ve stopped trying with nice underwear but you will always make sure you’ve at least put mascara on

The sex is now really good and you’re very comfortable with each other. However most of the effort has gone out of the window, you won’t rush around to get dressed or make your room tidy before they come over and tbh they’re at your house most of the time. But you’re still not 100 per cent comfortable so you’ll still put on a little bit of mascara before they come over.

You always stay the night, go out for brunch but you would never leave a toothbrush there

This half relationship is still in a slightly polite stage, you can happily spend a good 24 hours together and you usually spend a few nights a week at theirs. However the idea of having any of your own stuff there is too committed for your half way relationship. Get used to using their 2-in-1 shampoo and swirling some toothpaste round your mouth in the mornings.

You’re invited on nights out with their housemates but not for their seasonal events

Their friends all like you and they’ve accepted you as a great addition to their nights out. You’re at their house anyway so they haven’t got much choice. But when it comes to sober socialising you’re not at the stage where you’re invited to every gathering, particularly one as important as a housemate Christmas dinner or Easter BBQ.

When it comes to birthdays you’ll be getting a card

A birthday is a great way to test where your relationship actually is. They’ll come for the birthday drinks but the most you’ll be getting in terms of gifts is a card and a bottle of something, obviously costing less than £10.

You wouldn’t call your half-boyfriend a half-boyfriend to their face because that’s too much commitment

The sad truth is you couldn’t actually tell your half-boyfriend they’re a half-boyfriend because the word “boyfriend” is just too commitment and you guys aren’t there right now.