German-speakers reveal what’s actually being said in *that* weird TikTok
There are a lot of reasons you might want to speak German. Maybe you want to open a door to the world of Friedrich Schiller or E.T.A. Hoffmann? Maybe you want to be able to order food in a German restaurant without looking like a tool? Or perhaps you want a really fit German boyfriend?
Sadly these are all bad reasons to want to learn German, because the only reason anyone should ever learn another language is to watch TikToks made in that language.
Case in point: look at this TikTok of a very sassy German legend somehow managing to convey an air of effortless planet-ruling sass without speaking a single word you or I understand.
idk what the fuck she’s saying but i am livin pic.twitter.com/kGU2LfQ2rT
— Hank YIKES ‼️‼️ (@ughankk) February 11, 2020
10/10 I’m sure you’ll agree. But what are the people in these videos (and there are other videos, my friend) actually saying? Well I can tell you the star’s name is Jonas. I asked people who speak German to answer that question for me:
There’s more of him 😭😂 pic.twitter.com/HolmtmpyEp
— Clown🤡🤡🤡 (@BigClownBooty) February 11, 2020
Girl: ‘Look what a beauty I am’
Jonas: Oh my godddd
Jonas: How many ex-boyfriends do you have, bitch?
Girl: I’m far too young, I’m not allowed a boyfriend
Jonas: Oh my godddd – Ratatata!
Hussain: Bitch, how many ex-boyfriends do you have?
Girl: I don’t have an ex-boyfriend yet, bitch
Jonas: Oh my goddd
Hussain: *clicks tongue*
@hussainchilltKiss or Slap girl 😱❤️#foryou insta: hussain_chillt #viral ich liebe euch Girls alle😘♬ Originalton – hussainchillt
Hussain: Kiss or slap baby girl
Girl: You stink… [slaps him]
Jonas: Ah! Hussain: Kiss or slap baby girl
Girl: I’ll kiss you both, you’re so cute
Hussain: Omg thank you… but I’m slapping you bitch
@hussainchilltI love my Dadys my superhero’s ❤️😱#foryou #comedy insta: hussain_chillt♬ Originalton – hussainchillt
Jonas: I love my daddies! My superheroes!
Hussain: Come on now [ahhh noises]
@hussainchilltDas ist Jonas und lebt bei seine Eltern😂❤️#foryou #comedy insta: hussain_chillt♬ Originalton – hussainchillt
Hussain: Hello, this is Jonas. Jonas is 20 and still lives with his mother.
Jonas: Mum, will you drive me to work?
Hussain as mother: Yes, let’s go to work, come on!
Hussain: And that was the story of lovely Jonas. I hope you have a nice day
@hussainchilltJonas hat sich ein neues Auto gekauft ❤️#foryou insta: hussain_chillt♬ Originalton – hussainchillt
Hussain: Hello, this is Jonas and Jonas has bought himself a new car
Jonas: Hello, I’m Jonas, I’m 24 years old and I’ve treated myself to a Mercedes Benz
Tall guy: Jonas, get out of my car, I need to get bread rolls. Bitch. You must be crazy!