Every dating app bio to avoid like the plague in 2020

I really don’t care how much you travel


There's so much that can go wrong with a dating app bio. It's supposed to help you sell yourself, sexually and romantically, and boy are some of us doing a bad job of it.

There's such little requirement for creativity that you end up seeing the same one five times within every 20 swipes, and it's worse every time. Honestly if we banned mentioning dogs from Tinder bios half the country would be at a loss.

Some awful bio mistakes have died out over the course of time, thank god, but some are alive and kicking to this day. Here are all the ones to avoid in 2020:

Any Peep Show quote

This is not proof that you have a sense of humour, if anything it's the opposite. Bonus cringe points if you use the ergonomic management keyboard quote.

Height, then saying 'if you care about that'

Could you BE MORE SALTY? Just admit you're 5'8 and move on.

Or, on the flip side, 'You know what they call guys who are 5'10? Friends'

Okay, I know what I said before but don't height shame!

Your whole personality being based around travelling

Wow haha that's so cool you spent four months in Vietnam – but I can't look past the world emoji. Also I don't want to have to listen to you talk about it for two and a half pints worth of time when we eventually go on a date. Left swipe.

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'Perks of dating me: My dog'

Or for a more chaotic energy it simply says "my dog is cuter than you". Or "I like my dog more than you." Love a bit of negging. SooOoOoOo original.

Or 'Send me dog pics'

I will say it one last time. Dogs. Are. Not. A. Personality. Trait.

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Send me memes

Find your own damn memes.

Will tell my parents we met somewhere other than (this app)

You want to lie about our precious love story? Just own up to it man, everyone in the world has been on a dating app at some point. Including probably your parents (sorry to break it to you).

Referencing just how much you drink

Reads like: I can definitely outdrink you. Or on Hinge the answer to all three questions will be something like "Tequila". Funny! Is that all you have to say about yourself? Because I, for one, am concerned.

Referencing just how much you eat

Gals, hear me out here: Loving pizza is not new or original!

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Just the leaf emoji

THE DEVIL'S LETTUCE. Stay well away. Not because of the weed but because of the cringe way of denoting it, and the fact that you think that's the most interesting part of yourself.

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Good thing I'm boring asf

I can probably bench you

Okay, fit, but basic. Also it just SCREAMS that your whole personality is going to the gym. I am not drinking protein shakes for you, or anyone.

Weirdly intense long bio destined for Beam Me Up Softboi

You are tempting fate. Also a walking red flag.

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Netflix and chill

Were you in a coma? This died in 2014.

Anything Brexit, Labour or Tory related

Get over it, they won. If you're still hung up on this we're not going to shag. Look up the five stages of grief and actually go through them, please.

'Coffee lover'

Great for you!

Need a date for my sister's wedding in May

First off, this is weirdly intense for a dating app where you literally do not know the people you match with. Wedding dates are a six-months-in type of thing. Also makes it sound like you're just using your prospective match to look less lonely. Not one hundy percent a vibe.

Something about spooning/keeping warm at night

We're all cold! You're not special! Or original!

Including your snapchat at any point

Are you 15 years old?

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I promise you Ryan, I will always work hard and stay humble

Your mum will love me but your neighbours will hate me

Are you going to seduce my mother and kill me? Oh, no, I get it. Still lame.

Any lyrics

This is the equivalent to writing an MSN status in 2008 with (8) afterwards.

Tatted and pierced (needle emoji)

This always comes from the type of people with awful tattoos and at least one facial piercing. And not the good kind.

'Need someone to watch The Office with'

See the dog memes point above.

Not looking for anything serious, just a wife or something

This would be cute if it weren't used by the exact type of people that would cheat on your with your best friend.

No bio at all

Are you INSANE?

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