This is what it’s actually like to have lesbian sex, by a lesbian

Just because I use a strap on does not mean I want a dick


As a modern day lesbian, it's great being able to openly discuss my sex life than in times gone by. But I still get creepy men thinking they have a right to comment on my sexuality, or friends who just aren't sure how to interact with me when it comes to talking about sex.

Hey, guess what? I do not want to fuck you, nor am I waiting for "the right dick". Here is the truth about what it's actually like to have lesbian sex, by a lesbian:

Just because we use a strap on does not mean that we want a dick

There's a reason that strap ons come in bright pink and purple as well as flesh colours, and it's so that you can have the choice to completely disassociate them from an actual penis. Although similar in shape, it works completely differently, because last time I checked, the average penis didn't come with ten vibrate settings. Using a strap on isn't about wanting to have a man present in sex, because surprisingly things aren't always about men. Rather, it's a different form of intimacy and pleasure to get sexy with your partner.

Scissoring isn't always a thing

Some lesbians will say no to scissoring, others will say yes. Surprise, surprise, just like heterosexual people, everyone has their own preferences for sex positions. It does take a very specific knack to master scissoring though, there is a lot of moving around of legs and asking "where the fuck do I put my hands?" before figuring out the perfect position and sometimes, you really can't be arsed.

Lesbian bed death does not exist

If you don't know what lesbian bed death is, you probably haven't seen any 90s sitcoms featuring a lesbian. It's basically the premise that after being in a relationship for a while, lesbians become more like best friends rather than lovers and so stop having sex. Like any other relationships, they go through ups and downs of sexual activity, but this is definitely not a thing.

Lesbians don't instantly have better sex

Just like in straight sex, there is a lot to get to know. We still have all the fuck ups of "where do I put this?", "does this feel okay?", "are they also enjoying this?" and clumsy moments when you accidentally bash each other in the face.

There are the pros though. Unlike in straight sex there isn't the worry that once one of you comes it's all over because you can just keep going until you feel like stopping, which is amazing. It makes for a loss of a lot of time though when you're both going at it for a couple of hours each time, but it does sometimes make quickies a bit more difficult.

We don't only have one 'type' of sex

Omg, lesbians can get kinky too?! How scandalous. Imagine, lesbian sex, extends beyond the basic pussy licking and fingering. Yes, it's remarkable, but there are many different ways to have sex and experiment with it, that lesbians can also partake in.

Lesbian porn is not in any way accurate

If you believe that any form of porn is an accurate portrayal of most sex, then I would strongly advise actually HAVING sex. Like almost all porn it is focused on a very male centred view of what sex is, which is never that realistic or empathetic towards women.

It's a lot of dodgy angles, and fetishes and there is usually a man watching like an odd narrator of the women's pleasure. Men seem to think that these watching behaviours extend to the off screen world, and so somehow, most times I am out and about with my girlfriend, creepy men like to comment on how they're enjoying my relationship, either through sleazy smiles and hand gestures, or verbal comments.

Other sex articles recommended for you:

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How to masturbate to the point of an orgasm – from girls, to girls

18 things girls want you to know about touching their boobs during sex