Love Island Gossip Column: Michael and Joanna are BACK TOGETHER!?? And who choked Molly-Mae?

Joanna are you okay?

Welcome to The Tab’s daily Love Island 2019 gossip round-up, bringing you the pettiest drama and the least believable tabloid exclusives from around the web today.

Michael and Joanna are back on and hanging out with other Islanders

Despite telling viewers of This Morning she wouldn't, Joanna was papped by The Sun kissing Michael at a music festival last weekend.

A source told The Sun the pair were "all over each other" at the event, adding: "Michael kept kissing Joanna on her head and cheeks and pulling her close.

"She kept holding his hand and leaning into him, she definitely seemed to be warming up to him again."

Yewande was told off by producers for choking Molly-Mae

Yes, Yewande is still doing the rounds. This week she told Closer: "I got told off a couple of times but it was mainly when I was upset about the whole Danny thing.

"Molly asked me what I'd do to Arabella or why I was so angry and then I choked Molly and said I would do that to Arabella.

"That wasn't very nice."

She says she's over it now so no harm no foul I guess??

Tommy has wanked every night he’s been in the villa

During a challenge only shown on Unseen Bits, Tommy admitted he'd cranked one out every day he's been in the villa.

Tommy had to pump water onto Molly-Mae's t-shirt, then drain it to get a prize. While doing it he said: "Basically I’ve been using the same technique for 20 years so.

"I mean, I’ve been doing it every day so if I couldn’t pull it off today, there’s a problem, isn’t it?"

This is not the first chapter of the Love Island masturbatorial chronicles. While we initially thought the Islanders weren't allowed to wank at all, they had actually been doing it in the showers so frequently producers had to tell them to do it in the loos.

Anton said Belle doesn’t go as deep as his mum when shaving his arse

Anton has proven himself unable to go five minutes without mentioning his arse, and for one last hurrah he told After Sun viewers even more about it.

Asked if Belle was a better bum-shaver than his mum, Anton said: "It was early in the relationship so I don't feel you went as deep as my mum usually does."

Anton's mum has also made a rap video about shaving Anton's arse. We are through the looking glass, ladies and gentlemen:

Here she is with her RAP DEBUT 😎 Anton’s mum Sherie Ann, with the ‘Razor Rap’ 🍑 TAG YOUR FRIENDS 🙋🏼‍♀️ #AntonsMum #RazorRap

Posted by Anton Danyluk on Sunday, July 28, 2019

Danny’s been getting death threats

In less fun news, Danny Williams revealed he's been receiving death threats and racist messages since he left the villa.

He told FUBAR Radio: "I’ve had death threats, racism, people threatening to come around to my house and hurt my family.

"As worse as you can imagine, I’ve had it all. And it’s still happening today, daily.

"I’m not going to sit there and feel guilty. The thing that annoys me is that my family gets upset."

Ovie believes in lizard people

Villa claustrophobia is clearly at breaking point, and Ovie has been speaking on Unseen Bits about the conspiracy theories he believes in.

On the topic of lizard people, Ovie said: "Lizard people fucking run the world. Reptilians.

"All the richest, famous, biggest mother****ers in the world. Reptilians."

Get him out of that villa – clearly he's overheated.

Lucie sounds like a CBeebies presenter in this quite frankly bizarre video

I mean… just watch it:


Montana’s been in an anti-bullying video but people are dragging her for being a bit of a bully herself

Every year Glamour run a #BlandOutBullying campaign featuring a bunch of celebs. The general vibe is: Don't be mean to people online because you don't know what kind of mental state they're in.

One of the celebrities featured this year is Love Island series three alumna Montana Brown, which has pissed people off a bit because she has previously been a bit mean about Islanders herself.

In one interview Montana said Anton was "ugly", "overly preened", and "not manly at all."

Jordan and Anna on After Sun was a lot to take in

A lot went down on After Sun last night, but the highlight was the closure of the Anna and Jordan beef.

The two had a sit down where they continued arguing. Jordan said he was sorry for cracking on with India. He told Anna: "I will stand up and apologise for the way I handled things.

"Obviously we're not right for each other. India made me realise there were things missing in our relationship."

Anna replied: "This isn't somebody who's sorry. You need to sit there and act like you're sorry."

Appearing live a few days afterwards, Anna said they pair had called a truce of sorts. She said: "It's so strange. He called me last night.

"It's definitely more like, I wouldn't say we're friends but we're civil."

Jordan said: "I feel like now it's been a few days, the raw emotions have settled down."

Amber’s best mate has said some things about running her Insta and it's 'taken over his life'

The guy who's been managing Amber's socials and business since she entered the villa has been on TV and in interview a fair amount, but the best interview with him is in HuffPost.

In it, Martin Tweedy says the job has taken over his life. He balances running Amber's future empire with a nine-to-five job, but it will probably be worth it because ex-Islanders make mountains of cash after they leave.

Amber has 1.6 million followers on Instagram.

Martin told HuffPost: "At the minute, I get up about 4/5am, doing emails for the first two hours, then I go to work.

"On my dinner break and morning and afternoon break I’m doing emails, and then as I’m walking home from work, I’m doing Instagram messages, and then for about another three hours when I get in.

"Then it’s time for Love Island, and when it’s on, I’m barely even watching it, as I’m too busy scheduling the next days posts and tweets. It’s literally a full time job.

"By the time I get to bed, it’s about 1am, so I’ve literally aged about 80 years after the last few weeks."

Lena Dunham’s written an essay about Love Island because this is the world we live in now

The Guardian article opens with Lena planning her holiday to Wales. Apparently Lena's head was filled with "images of everything from Brighton Rock to Emma, The Woman In White to Notting Hill," all of which are set in England but whatever.

The rest of it is just a general unpicking of how Love Island maps onto our everyday lives and suddenly I seemed to have stopped caring.

(You can read it here but it seems to be aimed at people who haven't watched the show before and to be honest it's 10 minutes of your life you won't get back.)

Producers had to order Curtis more clothes after he put on weight in the villa

The Daily Star reported Curtis had to be ordered new clothes after "struggling" to fit into the ones he brought with him.

Now Love Island bosses are taking aim at viewers who "body-shamed" the Islander.

A spokesperson for Love Island told The Sun: "It is incredibly irresponsible that any Islander would be body-shamed in this way and we would always discourage anyone from making appearance-based comments that could be hurtful to the islanders and their families."

The Islanders were banned from having sex to protect their wellbeing

According to The Sun, Dame Carolyn McCall, head honcho at ITV, doesn't want to fall foul of the duty of care the show has over its contestants.

Casting directors deliberately picked contestants who didn't want to have sex on camera, and turned away those who were up for it.

Anna told The Sun on Sunday the casting directors were "looking for PG" this year. She said: "A lot of the islanders this year are very PG.

"They didn’t want to have sex in the villa and they cared about doing it in a room full of people.

"I remember the first challenge we had involved kissing, and all the girls were like: ‘No!’ I was like: ‘Guys, this is supposed to be fun. Let’s have fun.’"

Anna said she and Maura were the only two Islanders who ever really discussed sex. She said: "Me and Maura were the ones who talked about sex the most.

"We talked about sex – and how sexually frustrated we were – all the time in the villa.

“But often when it came up, the others seemed too scared to join in."

What is the deal with this mystery leg???

During the voting scene all that mattered was this weirdly placed leg. Look at it now, please:

Whose leg is that? Is it Belle's? If so, how did she manoeuvre her body to get it at that angle? So many questions.

The reason for the dropped lie detector test has been revealed

No prizes for guessing this one. After The Jeremy Kyle Show was cancelled in the wake of a guest's suicide, ITV bosses decided it might be an idea to leave the lie detector in the past.

An insider told The Sun: "The lie detector episode is everyone’s favourite but it does cause some serious arguments between couples.

"Love Island is already under scrutiny following the tragic deaths of two past contestants so producers will be keen to avoid any further issues.

"Some viewers are calling for the show to be axed so it looks likely they’ll get rid of the lie detector to keep people happy."

Fans have branded Molly-Mae 'Money-Mae' because of her fake crying

Look we've all seen Molly-Mae's tearless sobbing a fair number of times of the show.

Fans have convinced themselves Molly's only in it for the £50k prize money, which is why she keeps crying. Thus, they have called her "Money-Mae". Amazing.

Guys, you do realise Molly-Mae is going to make a lot more than £50k after the show's over?

Even more evidence for Love Island being staged has come to light

According to The Daily Mail, who spoke to a number of ex-Islanders, contestants are given scripted suggestions of what to say in certain conversations by producers.

One contestant claimed the boys were given scripts and kept aside until they'd memorised them.

The Islander said: "We heard them learning their scripts off by heart.

"They were going over and over what they were going to say. Nobody would have had to practise so long if it was genuine. We were kept away so they had time to do it."

Love Island 2018 made it into Orange is the New Black

If you're one of the three people still watching Orange is the New Black you might have seen Love Island 2018 making a brief cameo.

The woman watching the show is asked by her husband how her day went, to which she replies: "Shssh, Niall is cock-blocking Adam from stealing Kendall's pussy away."

Husband then says: "Why are we watching a bunch of Brexit voters in bikinis," to which the woman replies: "You know they didn't vote."

Here's the clip, but you'll need to turn the volume up:

Tragic #SponConWatch: Elma continues to plug some proper shite

In the crater left by Tom's incredibly weird promotion of BBC Bitesize last week, it's been a quiet few days for tragic Love Islander spon-con, but Elma still provides.

This week, she's plugging a lottery app you'll never use. She even won £100 on it. How convenient!

Elma, you get that bread.

More Love Island stories to wallow in until the show finally ends and we can all die peacefully:

RIP Love Island 2014-2019: The show is officially dead

The final bombshells: Meet the parents of this year’s Love Island cast

A tribute to Chris: 49 memes about the Islander who was gone too soon