How to have an anal orgasm: A foolproof guide
You don’t need a prostate to have one
The anal orgasm is a bit of an enigma. There’s this weird misconception about anal play – and it’s that the bottom (the person receiving) obviously won’t enjoy it, because anal is literally only good for the penetrating partner.
Any kind of anal play is often talked up as only good because it’s slightly taboo, or just something boys want to check off their bucket list – after all, taking anything up your arse can only hurt, right? Wrong.
There is such a thing as an anal orgasm, and this guide will help you on your way to achieving one:
What is an anal orgasm?
Simply put, an anal orgasm is an orgasm achieved through anal stimulation (not to be confused with the blended orgasm). While the biology behind it will vary depending on whether or not you have a prostate, the common factor is the hundreds of nerve endings located in the anus.
As with any erogenous zone, having the anus stimulated in the right way can feel amazing.
How do I have an anal orgasm if I have a prostate?
You might have heard about the prostate before, as it’s often referred to as the “male G-spot.”
The prostate is the gland which produces semen in cis-gender men, so naturally it feels great to have it stimulated. Prostate massagers sell for about £25 on Amazon.
The prostate is described as feeling like a walnut and is located about three quarters’ the length of a finger inside the anus. It swells when aroused, so make sure you’re actually turned on before you start and you’ll find it no problem.
How do I have an anal orgasm if I don't have a prostate?
If you aren’t a cis-gender man, or you weren’t assigned male at birth, the above doesn’t apply to you. That doesn’t mean anal orgasms aren't possible for those without a prostate, however.
Through indirect contact via the shared wall between the rectum and the vagina, it is still possible to stimulate the female G-spot through anal play. Stacy Rybchin, CEO of My Secret Luxury, told Women’s Health anal stimulation helps stimulate the “legs” of the clitoris.
Lovehonesy sex expert, Sammi Cole, told Cosmopolitan climaxing through G-spot stimulation first is often the way forward. She said: "People with vulvas may also find that, just as with a G-spot orgasm, it can be easier to experience an anal orgasm if you climax in your ‘preferred way’ first.
"So if you’re someone who usually needs clitoral stimulation to come, have your first orgasm that way, then move onto the anal fun. This can also help to relax your anal muscles, too, making things more comfortable."
Having an anal orgasm is easier with someone you trust
One of the biggest things you'll need to be able to do while trying to achieve that perfect anal orgasm is relax.
If you’ve never attempted anal play with a partner, it’s unwise to try it with someone you aren’t comfortable with. Make sure you discuss it beforehand and communicate throughout what feels good and what doesn’t.
Start small by using a finger or a sex toy
Like any muscle, the anus needs to be warmed up before it can handle a large amount of stretching, use your finger with a bit of lube or a toy to get yourself used to it.
Use lube, and make sure it's the right kind
If you've ever used lube for vaginal sex, it's worth knowing the amount required for any anal play is probably triple what you're used to. The anus doesn't naturally lubricate like the the vagina, so don't be stingy on the lube.
If you are intending to progress to anal sex, condoms are a necessity. The lining of the anus is very thin and STDs are more easily transmitted through it. Gonorrhea, Syphilis, genetial Herpes, and of course HIV are just some of the infections transmittable via anal sex.
On the topic of condoms and lube, the NHS recommends using water-based lube, as oil-based varieties can cause latex condoms to break.
It shouldn’t hurt excessively, but if it does, stop
Even with a healthy supply of lube and gentle working up to it, there will be some discomfort initially. If you're careful, though, it should be okay.
It's important you communicate with your partner what feels good and what doesn't. If you really don't like what's going on, you should stop.
You don’t have to just stimulate the anus to have an anal orgasm
There's no trophy awarded for achieving orgasm through anal play alone. For those with both a penis and a prostate, stimulating both simultaneously (sometiems called "prostate milking") is the way to the "ultimate" orgasm for cis-gender men.
For those with a vagina, the same principal applies. Carol Queen, the staff sexologist for Good Vibrations, told Women's Health: "The very easiest way to ensure an orgasm during anal sex, or just make it as pleasurable as possible, is to add clitoral stimulation while it's going on.
"Some women will orgasm from anal intercourse alone, but most won't be able to do so. The clitoral stimulation can be very direct or indirect."
You don’t have to have full-blown anal sex to have an anal orgasm
The prostate is only about three inches inside the anus, so there's no obligation to use anything longer than that, like a penis or a sex toy, to reach it.
The same holds true for those without a prostate. If you're looking for a more comprehensve guide for having anal sex you won't hate, you can find one here.
Yes, there will probably be some poo
The anus is where you poo from, and no number of wet wipes will guarantee you a completely feaces free experience, however there are ways to minimise mess.
Douching is the process of flushing the inside of your anus out with water. Douches can be bought for around £7 on Amazon. Using an anal douche is not neccessary to have an anal orgasm, however some people are more comfortable and confident knowing the anus is clean.
That being said, if you make sure you wash before and after, it's not a huge deal – you knew what you were signing up for.