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Which Love Island boy is most likely to ruin your life? An investigation

Ovie would never hurt you and you know it

5 years ago

Obviously the likelihood of anyone ending up with a Love Island boy is incredibly low, but imagine this for a second: you catch their eye in the crowd at a club appearance. They swagger over to you, Ciroc in hand, "do you want a pic babe?" You oblige, obviously, and they invite you back to their VIP booth.

One thing leads to another and you're the other half of a muscly, manscaped, sponsored content machine. But which of these boys is most likely to straight up set your life on fire. In order from least to most likely, you're about to find out.

We've told you which Love Island girl you are, which boy you should couple up with, which girl you should couple up with and now we're asking the serious question: which boy is going to ruin your life?

Ovie

Ovie is a gentle giant and has no time to cause anyone stress. He just wants to lie in the sun in his hat and eat an ice lolly, waiting for a kind, devoted peng ting to come along and steal his heart.

Ovie would take the best care of you he could. Bear in mind that the worst thing he has done so far is say "You can have her mate" to Jordan after Anna ditched and low key gaslighted him – he's practically a saint in Love Island terms. This man does not have a bad bone in his body. And he can lap dance like a pro.

Life ruining likeliness: 1/10, just wants you to flourish and become your own woman.

Tommy

This man is too much of a literal child to ruin your life. He might mess up and miss a birthday or turn up late every now and then, but he's not going to hurt you. He has a heart of gold and would never intentionally cause anyone any pain.

Like he said, all he wants is someone to watch him fight and cheer him on from the sidelines. This man is the human embodiment of a care bear.

However, he is not ranked first purely because he did not stay loyal to his childhood sweetheart and one true love, Megan.

Life ruining likelihood: 3/10, very wholesome and not hurtful. Strong Lenny from Of Mice and Men vibes.

Chris

This man would not ruin your life because no rational woman would let him successfully chirpse her in the first place. Moving on.

Life ruining likelihood: 4/10, will probably just irritate you from afar.

Jordan

Don't get me wrong, Jordan is a babe. Perhaps even a mega babe. But he's a bit sus. We all love him and Anna but let's be honest, he would have ditched her in a second if Jourdan had actually been interested.

If Jordan was your boyfriend, he's the type of guy to crane his neck when a really fit girl walks past you both on the street. He's probably not malicious, just easily distracted by new, shiny things. Like a magpie.

Life ruining likelihood: 5/10, means well but he will deffo flirt with random waitresses or bar staff.

Anton

Look, Anton's villa persona is all well and good. He's desperate, dejected and kind. But he's openly admitted to cheating before, outside of the villa, and he entered the show with a real Mr Big Bollocks attitude.

Honestly, we just can't trust that he's this tail-between-his-legs-good-guy in the real world. He seems to be all loved up, but remember when he immediately used his mouth spray when Francesca came in? Suspicious.

I bet he never made a single girlfriend coffee in the morning before this show started.

Life ruining likelihood: 7/10, as soon as his ego regenerates he will become dangerously powerful.

Michael

Bet you thought this little love rat would be last, didn't you? But you were wrong. Michael was actually pretty devoted to Amber before the Great Casa Amor Betrayal of 2019.

The only reason he left her was because his male ego was damaged when he got called whipped by the general public. Sort this man's fragile masculinity out and you've got yourself a good boyfriend.

Life ruining likelihood: 8/10, train him up good and he might stay loyal.

Curtis

This man will ruin your life. Not necessarily because he will hurt you, but because he is opposite of the fountain of youth. He will age you prematurely. He will take you to salsa classes and a farmers' market within the first month. You will be sat in bed at 9pm, with your reading glasses on, perusing newspapers together by month three.

He'll completely skip out your well deserved honeymoon phase and instead take you to the staying-together-for-the-kids phase, within weeks. Beware of this man and his snake hips.

Life ruining likelihood: 10/10 will steal your youth and call you young lady as he does it.